Boys,Buns and Fun

I'm moving

2006-01-31T22:15:00.000+01:00

I wasn't going to at 1st, I've been writing on here for awhile now, and have met a lot of really great people. But, after signing up at Myspace, it didn't take long before the Myspace blog, with all of it's really cool features, had seduced me.

I'll keep this blog up though, and I'll be checking up with all of my favorite bloggers out there whenever I can.

Ciao!

Taming the Beast

2006-01-22T12:02:00.000+01:00

The Big D decided to school me on how to drive a standard. Yes folks, I never did get around to learning how to drive a standard. I also never had the desire to learn how to drive one either.

If I'm going to be paying many thousands of bucks on a vehicle, it sure as hell better be able to shift it's own gears...

So because someone has to take the siliconed beast out for a spin once in awhile after he leaves, and beings that I'm his wife and all, I get to be the one who shoulders that responsibility.
---------------------------------------------------
So.... Of we went to some Nazi era industrial park where I hopped into the drivers seat and as David speed fired instructions at me, I made my first attempt at getting the beast rolling.

But, not a whole lot happened....

So,I made another attempt, and another, and then another...

It looked to me that there was something wrong with the beast, because it kept lurching forward with a huge jerk, and then it'd stall out...

Finally, I had enough: between not being able to get from point A to point B, and the fact that we'd both be needing a neck brace soon, I got out, slammed the door and said "Fuck this. You can drive it right to the wrecking yard."

The drama of the moment was heightened when I saw David frantically reaching for the emergency brake to keep it from rolling down the street. (Yeah, I'd forgoten... Putting the shifter into nuetral isn't the same as puttiing an automatic into park)

Anyways, after a lot of patience on David's part and a lot of bitching and moaning on my part... I can now drive the beastly vehicle.
* * *
Sidenotes:
My classes start tomorrow, so I won't be around a whole lot, until the semester wraps up.

Pics of Dexter and D.D. will be posted soon.

I haven't smoked in 3 weeks. I think I'm gonna start taking pictures of the crap that's coming out of me to scare my kids out of smoking.

This is who I WAS going to marry...

2006-01-17T13:05:00.000+01:00

Before there was David, and waaaaay before there was Marilyn Manson, there was
Nivek Ogre.

And even though I'm no longer 17 years old, and David's the love of my life. I'd still sling shot my thong at him during a concert.
Ladies, quit licking the monitor!

The Training of Little Grasshopper

2006-01-13T00:01:00.000+01:00

Not everyone agrees that kids should be taught to stand up for themselves from day one. And not everyone agrees that I have told both of my kids that if anyone ever hits them, they are to hit them back even harder.

Now, I don't encourage going around starting fights, but I fully support self defense. The world's a tough place..

Anyhow, I guess Garrett lost some of what I meant during our talk about defending ourselves....

According to his teacher, she was working with a reading group, and heard a commotion, she looked up to see that Garrett was straddled over another kid and punching the crap out of him.

After pulling him off and getting them both calmed down she found out what was going on.

I guess the other kid was singing, and Garrett didn't like it so he asked him to stop. So, the kid started singing even louder. Garrett got pissed and moved to a different table, but he could still hear the kid singing. So, that's when he decided to take action and knock him out of his chair and start beating him up.

According to Garrett he was standing up for himself because the other kid didn't listen to him.

Well, we had a pretty long talk after we got home, and I think he'll be able to handle annoying people better the next time around.

But when he wasn't within hearing distance, I had to laugh... I mean seriously, how many times have we all wanted to just rip someone from their chair and start beating on them? I know I have, especially with various past coworkers and stuff.

Winning at Quiting

2006-01-12T23:44:00.000+01:00

So far, I'm doing pretty good about not smoking. The 1st week wasn't too bad, then shortly afterwards things got difficult.

According to the research I've done, my body is repairing the damage that smoking did to it.

Last night was really difficult, I had a lot of tightness/congestion in my chest, so I propped my upper body up on pillows to help relieve that.

But then my calves started hurting, the dreaded charley horse, brought on by my circulation starting to improve. So, it was back to the linen closet for more pillows to prop my legs up on.

Well, this laying in a "V" position was just not working. Finally I decided to just keep only my legs elevated and sleep facing a humidifier, which I placed on the end table by the bed, so I'd have moist air blowing through my breathing passages, hopefully loosening up all that gunk that's accumulated in me.

Big D's doing great with his quit too. This time I got him to use those nicotine lozenges. During his other quits, he always insisted on going cold turkey so he could impress me with how much mental power he has... Acting like a dick would be an understatement, for those cold turkey runs. Deranged psycho path doesn't even come close. It was just ughhhhh... In the end I'd be practically begging him to take a dip. But now with these lozenges he's doing really good and I don't have to consider putting him in a cage of somesort until his addiction is over.

Anyways, I haven't really written because most of my focus has been on smoking cessation, so I've been spending a lot of time at quitnet. (I'm misfit100 there) And since I like to keep my blog heavy on the FUN, I don't want to fill it up with daily rants and whines about caving in, or any of that crap.

Oh! I just remembered something I've sooo got to write about. Ok, let me post this and I'll make one more entry before I go to bed.

I'm here!

2006-01-06T21:45:00.000+01:00

For those of you who have been wondering, "Where did JueDee C. go?". Here I am!

New Years was a nice, quiet evening spent here at home. I decided to let my hair down and get rip roaring drunk off of Mimosas. Once the Champagne ran out, I polished off the rest of the eggnog and vanilla rum. Then I experimented with other drink combos. (Note to self, never mix Jim Beam with O.J. again-yuck!)

Since I don't drink a whole lot anymore, I figured I might as well go all the way with it. When you have a lot of issues in your life, it's not a good idea to drink heavily since getting drunk has a tendency to send the door of your emotional closet flying wide open, sending skeletons scattering in all directions. But, it was a good night and I was a happy drunk throughout all of it.

Big D was also a few sheets to the wind by the time 2006 arrived, and he almost missed getting to toast it in with me. For some reason, he decided to take a shower at 11:45, crazy guy!

So yeah, even though we stayed home, it was a good New Years. We let the kids stay up and play Xbox for as long as they wanted to, and so they both slept in nice and late.

Once my hangover wore off, I polished off the rest of my cigarettes, slapped on a nic patch and have thus far, gone without smoking. Hurray! It's always been hard for me to quit, but throughout the past few years, I've gotten better at it, and have been able to go for longer stretches without smoking. So, hopefully this time I'll finally be able to quit for good.

So far, I've spent a lot of time sleeping through my withdrawl and gnawing on cinnamon sticks, which are extremely comforting to me, and they satisfy my oral fixation needs nicely.

Big D's also decided to jump on the quitting tobacco wagon with me, and on the 2nd he finished his last can of dip and started using the lozenges. So far he's doing really good, and I'm so proud of him!

Anyways, that was my New Years.

4 feet is a lot of man to blow

2005-12-27T13:29:00.000+01:00

Here in the world of Boys, Buns and Fun, we had ourselves a really great Christmas.

David and I spent a good portion of Christmas Eve taking turns blowing up a 4 foot punching bag for the kids. It took FOREVER. It could have been worse though, if we didn't have an air pump. Ours is this dinky little hand pump that we got for filling up small objects like basketballs and such, so our biceps were screaming by the time we finished filling him up.

Here's the 4 Feet of Punching Bag

We decided to take credit for the "big" gift, instead of giving the credit to Santa. So we're both on super cool status with the boys, since we got them an Xbox.
After unwrapping it, and the 3 games we got them, it was immediately hooked up to their playroom t.v. and we haven't seen either of them since.

This is the last time I saw my children

Ok, not really... Every few hours I go in there and force them both over to the table for a meal.

Christmas dinner was goooood. David fried us a turkey and I made tons of side dishes. Most notably, a sweet potato souffle that is just heavenly. I'll have to post the recipe for it some time.

Anyhow, I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

"Man" Day

2005-12-18T15:34:00.000+01:00

David's on block leave now, and the kids are on vacation, so I have everyone home until January 3rd. Right now, the 3 of them are getting some "man" time in, which means they're out someplace in the wilderness testing out the Jeeps mettle.

I've just turned in the final exam for Algebra class. So, that's 2 Algebra classes completed, 2 more left to go. Thanks to a wide variety of online calculators and solvers, I should get a B. Thank god for online solvers! I'd be lucky to scrape together a D without them.

I just don't do math, which is weird since it should be in my genes. My Dad's like a total Math geek, he's one of those people that thinks it's "exciting" and he actually enjoyed taking those type of classes in college. My kids are also showing a strong potential for Math related subjects... So, I guess that gene just skipped over me. Ah well...

In the news, we've heared that the U.N. is suppose to take over the Afghanistan mission that David's unit's suppose to be on. So, who knows if he's deploying or not. (Thanks U.N. for jumping in there almost 5 years after 9/11, we really appreciate your help. Especially after all these years the U.S. has footed the majority of the bill to keep your corrupt operation running.)

All that Glitters...

2005-12-06T18:14:00.000+01:00

"I can't believe this" he said, his voice cracking, "I really thought I knew you. Now it seems like it was all.... just a lie."

I looked away and kept my eyes cast downward.

His face contorted in disgust as he hissed, "This... is.... SICK!"

I'm such an idiot sometimes... Yeah, I guess a small part of me always knew that he'd eventually find out. I guess I could have told him, but there just never seemed to be a "right" time for doing that..

Exhausted, he sat down beside me and whispered, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

I rolled the question around in my head for a moment, then decided to be honest with him, "I was ashamed, all right? I knew you'd FREAK as soon as you found out, so I didn't say anything."

He contemplated this for a moment, then asked "What about the kids? Have they been.... exposed to this?"

As I slowly nodded, he buried his face in his hands.

...............................................................
Since I'd gone so long without getting caught, I'd started getting sloppy about covering my tracks.

So now... The door on my Gary Glitter closet had been blown wide open when the greatest hits CD came sliding out of the Jeeps CD player, in all it's glam rock glory, and into David's calloused hand.

I've decided to cool it for a bit, as David gets use to the idea of the kids and I happily singing along to "Do you wanna touch me (yeah)" as we drive up to the store. (With the windows rolled up of course)

You Really Shouldn't Have....

2005-12-03T14:12:00.000+01:00

When I found out that D's deploying for a year, I knew exactly what I wanted him to have with him. So for months, I've been secretly stashing away my slush money to get this for him.

By November, I finally had enough to get it! So it was wrapped up and stashed away for Christmas.

His Birthday's on December 13th, so I also had his Birthday gift hidden away. (Which is also something I got for him, with the deployment in mind.)

___________________________________________________________________
I recently found out that everyone's getting their things together to ship downrange. He also mentioned that a lot people were shipping "big" items like electronics and what not. So, with his gift in mind, which is cumbersome in some ways, but not in others, I realized I'd have to give it to him earlier than planned. Everything's shipping out this Tuesday.

So his smaller Birthday gift is now his Christmas gift and vise versa.

Last night night was his "Birthday". The boys and I gathered around him and I proudly handed his gift over. I know he was excited because I've been gushing for weeks about how much he's going to love it!

Being "Mr.Cool" he slowly unwrapped it. It was KILLING me! I almost snatched it away from him and ripped the wrapping paper off myself. (I think he does this on purpose, to drive me nuts)

Anyways, an hour later, after peeling back the last bit of paper, his gift was revealed.

His eyes grew big and his jaw dropped as he gazed at his BRAND NEW, VERY OWN......

BRIEFCASE!!!!

He was so overwhelmed with his gift, that he was struck speechless, so I spoke up for him.

"Isn't it great honey? I thought we should start working on your future, and even though I know you don't normally use a briefcase, nothing says professional like a smart briefcase like this one."

His mouth opened, then closed because he was still... speechless!

He politely started to unzip it to see what it looked like inside, when I decided to let him off the hook.

"Of course, we also got you something to put into this briefcase." And I disappeared for a moment and came back in with another gift that had been stashed away.

Looking confused, and unsure of what to expect at this point, he started unwrapping, b.t.w.: this time he didn't linger on every fold and taped down piece!

This time he got his "real" gift- a brand new I.B.M. laptop computer!!!! Which of course would be placed into his "briefcase" which is actually a cool, black canvas laptop case.

He told me several times: "This gift KICKS ASS!" *nods* Yup, I done good.

But, I really did have him going and wondering what the hell I was thinking when I got him a "briefcase".
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I also pointed out that in addition to being able to keep in touch with me, he can also watch DVD's with it, and it's small enough to bring into the port-a-potty for when he feels like watching some porn.

Tag Teamed

2005-11-28T12:37:00.000+01:00

Simones' Mamahas tagged me.

10 Favorites:

Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Sport: Tennis
Favorite Time: 10 p.m.
Favorite Month: June
Favorite Actor: Vin Diesel-YUM!
Favorite Actress: Angelina Jolie
Favorite Ice Cream: New York Strawberry Cheesecake
Favorite Food: cold fried chicken
Favorite Drink: it's a tie: water & coffee
Favorite Place: London, England

9 Currents:

Current Feeling: Content
Current O/S: Windows XP
Current Windows Open: Internet Explorer
Current Drink: coffee
Current Time: 12:43 p.m.
Current Mobile(s) Used: Siemens A55
Current Show on TV: Fox News
Current Thought: I might be able to sneak a nap in before picking up the kids from school.
Current Clothing: Tinkerbell pajama pants/white cotton camisole

8 Firsts:

First Nick: 1st Nick? As in nicotine? 10 yrs old in the corner of the playground at school with a bunch of other girls from my class.
First Kiss: I was 12, had just gotten braces and worried that one of my rubber bands would snap from his toungue digging around.
First Crush: Garrett, a kid I met in 2nd grade while playing baseball. Continued to love his name and decided to name my 1st born after him.
First Computer: some peice of crap I bought off of an ex-boyfriend. Who knows what it was.
First Vehicle I drove: 1990 Nissan Sentra, red
First Job: Pizza maker at a pizza place. I lasted one day and quit for a better job that opened up.
First Movie I watched on Pulse Global’s print: Haven't seen one
First Pet: Pepper, a german shepard
First Shave(men)/hairstyle(women): My one and only perm in the 5th grade. I cried and begged my mom not to make me go to school.

7 Lasts:

Last Chai (Tea) : 7 1/2 years ago in Kansas, City
Last Movie: War of the Worlds
Last Time I Drove: a few hours ago
Last Time Shaved(men)/Beauty parlour visit(women): 3 months ago
Last Web Site Visited: http://www.newsmax.com/
Last Software Installed: I Spy Spooky Mansion
Last Pill I Had: Zoloft, Iron, Multi Vitamin and Calcium Chews

6 Have You Evers:

Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: Yes
Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast: Yes
Have You Ever Broken Anyone’s Heart: I like to think I have, to make up for all the times someone broke mine.

5 Things:

Things You Can Hear Right Now: The bunnies hopping around the living room
Things on Your Computer Table: Checkbook, computer, a pink highlighter
Things on Your Bed: Sheets, quilt and my foot long black vibrator. (JUST KIDDING!!!)
Things You Ate Today: coffee
Things in Mind: nothing really, just vegging on the computer

4 Places You Have Been Today:

Home, MailRoom, School and Store

3 People You Can Tell Anything To:

David, Kerri and Brandi

2 Choices:

Black or White: black
Hot or Cold: hot

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die:

To see the pyramids

And individuals I wanna tag-
Special K,VanyT and whoever else would like to do this.

Munchin on the Nibblets

2005-11-28T10:59:00.000+01:00

I hope you guys all had a great Thanksgiving!

In spite of a few mishaps, ours was wonderful. Mishap #1 was spending an hour and 1/2 driving aimlessly around the Kaiserslautern area, as we tried to follow D's co-workers vague handwritten roadmap. Stir in a husband who refuses to call for better directions and 2 hungry boys who are relentlessly whining to eat, and that makes for a very caustic solution.

Fortunately, D's co-worker called us after awhile, figuring that we were lost, and being a married woman, she knows how stubborn men are about getting directions. So, with her on the line, we were able to get there-finally!

It turns out we weren't the only ones who had problems, EVERYONE got lost trying to find her house. LOL

The food was FABULOUS!!!! OMG, I totally gorged myself shamelessly. We hung out there for a few hours, eating, drinking and being merry.

After staying long enough to where it wouldn't seem like we were dining and dashing, we headed over to our other friends home and enjoyed coffee, desert and conversation with them.

So, it was a great night, especially since we got to return to a clean house and no dirty dishes to deal with!

The next day I took down all of the Thanksgiving decorations and now I'm slowly putting up the Christmas decorations. The tree won't go up until the 1st, but I've set up our Kris Kringle village, window and balcony lights and a few snowmen decorations.

I LOVE decorating for the holidays, especially Christmas. This year I'm really going crazy because David won't be here next year for it, so I want to make sure this one's especially memorable for all of us. In the words of the darling Bridgett Jones, I want my home to be a Christmas Casbah!

A Bit of Everything

2005-11-23T12:42:00.000+01:00

Things worked out with the big D's tire situation. He was able to get one of his friends to spend the lunch hour with him pilfering through the junk yard for a new rim and tire. Luckily, old Chevy Cavaliers are a dime a dozen, so the siliconed beast was prowling the roadways in no time at all.

He got REALLY lucky though, I guess with that type of impact, it could have been a lot worse, resulting to damage to more than just the tire. Anyhow, I have mentally filed away this bit of bad driving, so that if I find myself in a situation in which I'm having to defend myself for driving badly, I'll be able to pull this little ace out of my sleeve. Heh!

Heard from my Best Friend from High School. She told me about how the janitor of our old school has died. Turns out, some illegal immigrant from Mexico found his way to our town, and while high on Crystal Meth, broke into our janitors house, killed him then set the house on fire. When the cops and fire department got there, they found his useless ass trying to hide out in a neighbors yard. It turns out the janitor didn't even know him either. It was a random crime.

It really pissed me off when I learned of this. I don't know why the government isn't taking a tougher stance on closing the borders. It's scary when you think about it. If these poor Mexican villagers can make their way into the U.S. without having any formal military or survival training, I'm sure it would be a cake walk for a terrorist to just walk on in.

Personally, I think there's no excuses for not having an electric fence going around the Mexican and Canadian border. Plus guard towers every 1/2 mile, survellience cameras, motion sensors, etc... If I ran the show, I'd even throw in a huge trench filled with man eating alligators and blood thirsty pirranahs for good measure.

It just makes me mad how every single administration in charge has ignored the problems of illegal immigrants coming into the States. I have no qualms with those who want to come to the States, integrate themselves into our society and become productive citizens. It's the ones who come over, do absolutely nothing productive with themselves aside from sponging off our tax dollers through the welfare system, that need to go.

On a different note. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm really looking forward to it this year because for the 1st time in many years I won't have to cook! YIPPIE!!!! Usually we decline offers to come over for dinner from others, but this year we decided to take up the offer from 2 couples we know. So, in addition to not having to cook, we get to have 2 dinners!!!

Gobble Gobble!

KaBlooey

2005-11-17T09:20:00.000+01:00

During the frosty, snowy months, there seem to be 2 types of people. There are those who scrape their entire windshield, plus the mirrors, side windows, tail lights and if there's not a rear defroster, they clear the back window. And then there are those who believe it's not a big priority to have a good field of vision while they're driving. This type can be found bumping into curbs as they struggle to look out the teensy, little peephole they cleared off.

I'm the type who won't drive unless I can see out of all of my windows, while David is a peephole driver. Our different window clearing personalities have been a source of frustration for both of us. It drives him crazy having to wait for me to finish clearing the windows before I'll go anywhere, and it drives me crazy feeling like I'm riding inside of a submarine, as he takes off squinting through the little periscope of a hole that he's made.

For almost a decade I have nagged the crap out of him for not taking the time to clear off his windows. And for almost a decade, he has rolled his eyes at me and ignored my advice.

This morning we faced our first real frost, and with it's arrival, I got to chalk up an extra point in the great window clearing debate.

This morning he cleared away the usual 4 inch strip, and with Metallica on the tape deck and a hot, steaming mug of coffee wedged between his legs, he proceeded to leave the neighborhood. Things were looking up. He had plenty of time to get to work, and he was looking forward to leaving work earlier than he usually does.

But then a traffic circle came along, which threw a wrench into the clockwork of his morning.

As the siliconed car approached the circle, he realized that he was having a hard time seeing anything, and so he misjudged where to enter the circle. This miscalculation caused the front tire to slam into the curb, resulting in it bursting with a loud gun fire like boom, thus rendering the vehicle useless. Slamming into the curb also caused him to lose control of the coffee mug, resulting in a massive spill on him and around him.

Luckily he hadn't gotten too far, and he managed to limp it over to a parking spot. Unfortunately, he happened to limp it just far enough to damage the rim.

After he'd come upstairs to hit me up for a ride into work, I decided not to say anything about it as we drove along, with cleared off windows so there wouldn't be any obstructions in my field of vision.

Chickity Check

2005-11-10T23:18:00.000+01:00

Even though Check Cards are making paper checks go the way of the typewriter, I'm still holding out for as long as I can.

I like being able to express myself as an individual through paper checks.

I also like having the power to piss off other people at the store, by taking my time filling out the check.

So, if you get behind me in line, don't get into my personal space, don't try to push whatever I've placed onto the counter out of the way with your crap, or I will make you pay.
Oh yes indeed. I'll make you Miserable, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it either. "Whatcha gonna do? Move my hand for me, so that I'll write faster? Yeah right!"
But, those who are nice, you will be handsomely rewarded. I will thank you by having most of my check filled out before the cashier has finished ringing everything up. And I'll even fill out the ledger after I've left the register.
Tonight I reordered new checks. I've almost used up all of my Mickey Mouse ones, and here are the new ones I'm looking forward to getting:

Bat Boys

2005-11-08T16:52:00.000+01:00

Things have gotten hectic, which is why it's taken me so long to post this.

Here are the kids in the bat costumes I made for them.
But yeah, even though David was stuck in the field during Halloween, I took the kids trick or treating. They made out pretty good with the candy.
Anyhow, David's home now and all is well.

No Freakin Way!!!!

2005-10-31T15:20:00.000+01:00

This afternoon, I was enjoying some time to myself, and working at beating my high score on Yahoo MahJong when suddenly my peace was abruptly shattered.

A HUGE crashing sound came blasting through the apartment, which had me ready to take a dive under the computer desk. Then I heared screams of "Shiza!!!! Shiza!!!" Even though I've spent a total of 12 years of my life here in Germany, that's one of the few German words I know, and when I've heared it, I know that it can only mean one thing..

Something bad's gone down.

Here in the 'hood, there's a massive construction project that's been going on. The government's decided to tear down a lot of the old World War 2 era housing apartments and put in townhomes. This has brought a lot of construction equipment into the area, and when one gazes out the window it's become the norm to see various things like bulldozers and cranes at work.

Like these here
I raced to the windows to see what was going on and discovered that the crash was the result of one of the cranes breaking... I guess the cables snapped or something, but it resulted in the top half folding into itself and crashing to the ground.

Guess who's designated parking spot is just a mere 10 feet or so from the path of the fall?

You can see Garrett checking out the wreck in this one.
Amazingly, it broke and all of the wreckage stayed within the fence line, but after the paint chip incident I almost died when I thought about what the consequences would've been if it'd fallen 10 more feet over....
Hell, if that had happened, I wouldn't be on here blogging, instead I'd be at the Frankfurt airport waiting to board the next flight to the states! LOL

All Good

2005-10-25T12:35:00.000+02:00

Even though David was pretty ticked about me locking the keys in the Jeep, he seems to have gotten over it, and so things are all good, once again.

I mean, it's not like HE'S never had his own share of auto related mishaps. Between us, he's had A LOT more mishaps than I have. And they were A LOT pricier than those little paint chips that resulted from getting the keys retrieved from the Jeep.

For your amusement, and mine, here's just a FEW:

His mom had gotten a brand spanking new Fire Bird and after not even a week of owning it, he talked her into letting him drive it over to a friends house.
While there, he parked behind his friends truck. On the bed of the truck, there was a 4 wheeler. Due to events that no one could quite explain, the 4 wheeler somehow broke away from the straps that were tying it down and came crashing down onto the hood of her brand new car...

While driving his grandfathers truck, he was parked next to another vehicle that was running. After spending some time jawjacking, he tried to start the truck up, but for some reason it wouldn't start. So, he sat there and kept trying to start it....
Turns out, he forgot that he left the truck running instead of shutting it off. So, he burned out the starter and his grandfather had to replace it.

Not too long ago, he locked the keys in his siliconed car. Instead of calling a locksmith, like I did, he managed to pry the trunk open and then kick the back seat in, so he could access the front of the vehicle. (Also, he could have just called me here at home and I would have brought him the spare key......)

These are just a FEW.. In addition to these: we've nearly been taken out by a train while he was driving (It was REALLY close, and remembering that incident is enough to bring on an anxiety attack for me.), he almost drove us into a ditch, because he was too preoccupied yelling obscentities at some people we don't know, he's spilled countless cups of coffee in EVERY vehicle we've ever owned..

So yeah, I think he realized that looking at the big picture. For the only incident to occur, from my end, to be something as piddly as getting the keys locked in.. Well, he's got no room to talk.

For a Nickel

2005-10-22T18:21:00.000+02:00

David called a few minutes ago to obtain a status report on how the Jeep's doing. By the time we got finished talking, you would've thought I'd just gotten done telling him that I'd wrapped it around a tree, doused it in gasoline, torched it then pissed on it.

Wanna know what caused this strained conversation?

Well, I'd taken the kids out and upon our return, I tumbled the front seat forward to let them out. F.Y.I: Tumbling the front seat requires the use of both hands, so whatever I'm holding is placed onto the seat and in this case, those things happened to be my wallet and keys....

After lifting both kids out, I happened to notice a shiny nickel on the ground and stooped down to pick it up. While I was doing this, one of my kids decided to be helpful and shut the door.

I'd pushed the door into the "lock" position as I was getting out...

Yup, you guessed it, I was fucked.

David's gone until the 4th of November, so waiting for him to get home wasn't an option.

So, with my jaw clenched to keep from screaming at the top of my lungs, we went to our neighbors place to use the phone and call the locksmith.

We waited in the stairwell for him to arrive, since it was getting quite chilly outside.

After about 1/2 an hour, a beat up VW Van pulled up with a picture of keys painted on the side and "Locksmith" printed in big, bold lettering. So much for discretion. I was hoping he'd arrive in an unmarked vehicle so none of the neighbors would know what a dip shit I am.

Of course, as he snaked these long metal contraptions between the door and the hard top, trying to push the lock button into the open position, just about EVERY single one of my neighbors passed by us either coming home or going out. And they all offered words on encouragement, "oh yeah, that sucks." and "Don't feel bad, I've done it before too."

After getting the door opened, he charged me 60 euro... (That's a little over $100) I was so happy about having my keys back, that I didn't stop to ask him for a receipt to see if my insurance company would cover it.

So, yes it was a very dumb, dumb, dumb day. In fact, it was so dumb,I should be spelling it dum.

So why's David all ticked off?

Because I made the mistake of telling him that a teensy bit of black paint from the hard top got chipped during this procedure. And it happened to a section that's covered up when the door's closed.

So, the remaining bit of our conversation was of me reminding him of my perfect driving record. Thank god I haven't had an accident. *knock on wood* And to diffuse some of the heat off of myself, I reminded him of my friend Erica who's had 3 accidents in the 2 years she's been here.

OMG, if I did have an accident, I'd just come home long enough to grab the passports and fly the kids and myself back to the states. Once there, I'd call him and tell him about it. (The man LOVES his cars, it's insane how obsessed he is with keeping them in pristine condition.) So, an accident would be very, very bad.

Ah well, in a few years he'll eventually get over it.

As for the nickel that caused all of this. As soon as I realized I was locked out, I flung it as hard as I could into the street... Didn't change anything, but it made me feel better.

JueDee's Favorite Things

2005-10-20T15:47:00.000+02:00

My Favorite Smell in the World

For some reason, I've always LOVED the way rubbing alcohol smells.
My "Signature" Scent

I USE to love Fire and Ice, but I tossed it once I fell in love with Burberry Brit
My favorite medication

What? You thought I was just naturally happy all the time? With Zoloft, we can let the good times roll.
My Favorite Designer

Accept no substitutes when it comes to Louis Vuiton
My Favorite Vehicle

Our new Jeep arrived today, meet "Orange Crush"
David goes to the field tomorrow and has to work late... Poor guy won't get to drive it for 2 weeks. I guess it's up to me to break it in properly.

Hitscherhof Farm

2005-10-16T17:46:00.000+02:00

Last night, while the kids were being watched by the "super cool single girl", we took a drive over to Wiesbaden and had a REALLY great dinner. So, we had a nice time celebrating our Anniversary.

Today, we packed up the kids and made a trip into the German farming community. Because David is leaving on Friday and won't be back until November 4th, we decided to let the kids pick out a few pumpkins, which we'll carve later tonight.

So, even though he'll have to miss going trick or treating with us, we decided to make sure he doesn't miss getting to carve jack o lanterns with us. (Ummm, and no, we definetly DON'T plan on keeping them around until Halloween-ew!! I'll have to figure out a way to smuggle them out of the house without the kids catching me throwing them out.)

So, here's a few pics:

Of course, we had to talk the kids down from wanting the giant pumpkin behind us.

Couldn't resist petting the moo cows.

One of the attractions was this corn maze.

Children of the corn
The farm we went to was really great, and let me tell ya, they've found some very creative ways to utilize the pumpkins and squash.
Here's some goodies I brought back:

Of course, you will recognize the corn and the pumpkins, and now moving from left to right, starting after the corn, we have: some sort of homemade blend of zucchinis, (not quite sure of it's pickled or what, but it looks REALLY good), chocolate covered pumpkin seeds, spiced pumpkin jam and pickles that were canned there.

In addition to this, we also saw pumpkin wine, cinammon spiced pumpkin seeds, and a whole slew of other pumpkin/squash related goodies.

Here's the website for the farm we went to (in English):
http://www.hitscherhof.com/english/home.html

Warm and Hearty

2005-10-13T13:35:00.000+02:00

A hint of autumn has been in the air, over here in Germany. The leaves have started changing colors and some have started dropping off.

I'm definetly not a fan of cold weather, but I will say this... I LOVE to cook during fall and winter. During this time of year, I like to make a wide variety of soups, stews, roasts and just the usual "comfort food" fare.

Anyhow, with the cooler weather that we've had lately, I decided to try out my new Pumpkin Soup Recipe. This morning, I chopped, pureed and am now "slow cookering" my little heart out. Mmmmmmmmm.... The house smells so good right now, and the samples I've tried have been quite delicious. I'll add some crusty, french rolls to have on the side, and it should be a nice dinner.

The only downside?
The weather decided to go an warm up today... It hit 70 degrees...
Here's my recipe if anyone wants to give it a try:
Pumpkin Soup
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 leeks, chopped
1 small white onion, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 small carrot, chopped
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and diced
3 cans of pure pumpkin
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
32 Oz chicken stock
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 bay leaf
1 tablespoon sage
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp crushed red pepper
salt to taste
ground black pepper to taste

Heat oil in a pot.
Add leeks, onion, celery, carrot, sweet potatoes, and garlic, and saute until they start to brown, then dump it all into a crock pot.
Add bay leaf, stock, pumpkin, cream,sage, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon,salt and pepper to taste.
Once it's all cooked through and the vegetables are nicely mushy,remove bay leaf, and puree in a blender. Serve hot.

Here I am!

2005-10-09T17:49:00.000+02:00

Every now and again, things get a bit hectic, even for a modern woman such as myself. So, I had to take a bit of a break from blogging to take care of the things that needed to be taken care of.
Of course, during this break, I have had numerous moments when I'd be out and about, and I'd happen upon lots of things that would make for a good blog entry.
Well, my Science class/lab has now wrapped up, and as of last night, I have submitted my tests, so I'm eagerly awaiting my final grade. *fingers are crossed*
Both of the kids decided that they'd like to be bats for Halloween, so I spent a day sewing their costumes, which turned out quite cute. I'll post a picture when they dress up on Halloween night.
David and I will be celebrating our Anniversary on the 19th. We're hoping "the super cool single girl that he works with" will be available to babysit. If so, we're planning on driving down to Wiesbaden to eat at a Thai resteraunt that's suppose to be really good. If she can't, we'll rent a movie, order take out and kick back here at home.
Last week we felt the need to take a break, so we kept the kids home from school and we headed towards the Holland border to visit Fantasia Land.

The boys make a new friend.

I managed to fight the urge to ride standing up, with one foot on 2 different horses, ala the Three's Company opening that shows John Ritter doing that.

Ooh La La

2005-09-04T11:54:00.000+02:00

Paris was wonderful, the weather was perfect and because it's September, tourism was low, so we had a great time.
We left Kaiserslautern at 8 a.m., got to Paris at 12, had lunch, rode the metro to various sites, then headed home at 5 p.m., we arrived back home a little after 9 and slept VERY good.
I have to say, even though I'm very opposed to France when it comes to politics, I do love going to Paris. The energy is wonderful, and there's a lot of beauty in that whole region. This was my 4th visit there, but the other 3 times I went I didn't have kids, so this trip was VERY different from the other times I've gone. (It's not like you can just stop and start playing tonsil hockey everytime the view takes your breath away.)
I'm so glad the boys got a chance to see the "City of Lights", and it was enlightening to see all the sights through their eyes. It really gave me a new perspective. They were also really well behaved and never complained even though we did A LOT of walking. I wish we could afford to go there every weekend!
Unfortunately, the cost of driving there is freaking insane, there are A LOT of toll roads, going there and coming back. With the way the Euro is kicking the Dollars ass, it makes for one expensive, but worth it, drive.

Riding on the Metro

This is what it looks like when you're sitting underneath the Eiffel Tower and you look up.

Garrett was dancing or something when I took this picture.

Garrett took this one. David cracks me up in this one, he doesn't normally look like this.

Waiting for David to bring refreshments to our table. This is taken at a restraunt that's up inside of the Eiffel.

My baby is 7 today!

2005-09-02T22:38:00.000+02:00

Here's a few b-day pics. No time to write a whole lot: tomorrow we're heading to Paris!

Thanks Big D for snapping one of me looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Fun Buns

2005-09-02T00:44:00.000+02:00

Recently, I found myself driven out of bed due to some unexpected overcrowding. David and I agree that as long as the kids fall asleep in their own beds, it's ok for them to get into bed with us later on, if they should wake up in the middle of the night.
Anyways, both of them ended up with us, and since David's a total bedhog, there wasn't a whole lot of room for the remaining 3 of us on the other half of the mattress. So, I headed over to the living room to finish off the remainder of my REM sleep on the couch.
But first, a picture before being driven out of the bedroom:

My guys
I haven't posted pics of the bunnies in awhile, so here's a few:

It cracks me up when D.D. splays both of her legs out like this, it makes me think she's gonna go flying through the air like Superman at any moment.

Everyone's favorite Siamese bunny nudges her out of the way so he can pose for the camera.

D.D. grooms Dexter to show that there's no hard feelings.

Unknownst to Dexter, D.D. has groomed his mane into this silly, yet carefree windswept look.
*Also: Pics of David's siliconed car will be posted, I just haven't gotten around to taking them yet. I live on the 4th floor, so by the time I get down there and realize I've forgotten to bring the camera, it seems like such a looooong walk to go back up all those stairs again after I've just come down. But, I will get around to it!*

Silicone Insanity

2005-08-26T12:26:00.000+02:00

Davids' answer to most of the problems life throws his way is quite simple. According to him, pretty much anything can be fixed with a tube of silicone.

As you can see by the way this tube is curled up like a tube of toothpaste, he reaches for this quite often
When he bought a used car, the squeeks it made drove him nuts, so he solved the problem by siliconing EVERYTHING on the dashboad.. I'm serious, the glove box, the knobs on the defunct radio, EVERYTHING was siliconed down.
One time the front lisence plate was ripped off while taking it through the carwash.. So after retrieving it from the guy who works there, he drilled some new holes in the bumper, put in some large bolts and to ensure it wasn't going anywhere again, he siliconed the nuts on the bolts.. Stay tuned for a picture of this later, I'll run out and snap a few after he gets home, it's priceless.
One time he asked me to pick him up some at the store. He didn't think it was funny when I returned with a cylinder of it, which turned out to be useless since we don't own a caulking gun. Yes, it needed a caulking gun..
Even though I'm not very fond of using silicone for most projects which require glue, I've stayed quiet about it and let him silicone whatever his little heart wants to.
But now he's gone too far..
While at the Frankfurt Zoo, I bought a coffee mug as a souvenier. Unfortunately, by the time we got home, the handle had broken off of it during it's travels in my purse.
So, I put it to the side until I could get around to fixing it later. With CERAMIC glue.
Well, David ended up getting to it before I did. And here's the results of his work..

He doesn't know why I keep complaining about him using silicone on it...

European Hospitality

2005-08-23T12:15:00.000+02:00

David is back from the field. He returned on Saturday, with a smile for all and a heap of dirty clothes to be washed.
The kids and I did a lot of crafts, one was building a volcano:

I was hoping to concoct the mother of all explosions when it was finished. But at least the kids got a kick watching the vinegar, baking soda and crushed alka seltzer slowly ooze out of the top. Maybe when they're older we can experiment with pyro and then we'll enjoy a more impressive display of a man made version of natures' fury.
We also took the train to Frankfurt.

It was a LOOOONG ride. The train stopped at every station on the way there, and it took about 2 hours to get there.
The first car we got on reeked to high heaven. Apparently someone had been assaulted with a bad case of travellers diarrhea in the bathroom before we got on. So, we switched cars. And with kids, it's hard to be discreet about these things. Both of the kids were gagging and holding their noses. Hopefully whoever the culprit was didn't see them doing that.
Once in Frankfurt we got into a Taxi and went to the Zoo. The weather was nice, about 80 degrees and it wasn't too crowded.
After walking around there for 4 hours we headed back home.
It was a really fun day for all of us.
The Anti-American sentiment was high, from the girl who rolled her eyes and acted like a bitch when I bought water from her stand, to the dirty looks we received when we were overheard talking to each other in English.
It's quite the paradox.
They complain about the bases, and when one closes they get mad because of all the jobs and local business that's lost to the city.
They complain because we're here, but they seem to forget that if they hadn't tried to take over the world, we wouldn't be here in the first place.
I use to really like it here, but now I can't wait to get back to the States.
My MIL use to live here as a teenager, and had really good memories of the people. After her last visit, she couldn't believe how rude and mean they've become towards the Americans.
Ah well... At least more bases will be closing down soon, before long we'll only have 2 bases here, Graf and Ramstein.

Bonnie and Clyde

2005-08-11T00:38:00.000+02:00

I heard in the news about that lady in Tennessee who helped her husband escape from going to prison. All I can say is WOW!!!! I feel really bad for the families of those who were killed, but I find myself totally fascinated by her actions.
I just can't ever imagine feeling THAT passionate for anyone.
If the big D ever went to prison, I'd be passionate enough to pay him an occasional trailer visit, and maybe I'd bring along a gift wrapped roll of dip on his birthday and Christmas, but he's out of his mind if he thinks I'd attempt any sort of hijinks like that.
When I was younger, I went through my fair share if dumb crimes which had me getting to know the city judges more than I would have liked.
Luckily by the time I became an "adult" I realized that it wasn't worth it anymore and I wasn't very good at NOT getting caught.
One time I was at a local rock show. There I was sitting in a back room with my best friend. She was chatting with a drummer and I was sharing a beer with another guy there. There were probably about 20 of us all piled in that room.
So, one minute I'm sitting on the floor gazing over my Budweiser into the eyes of a band member, and the next thing I know, I'm looking right at the polyester clad crotch of a cop. It's scary when you've got a gun dangling in your face like that-I might add.
Anyways, the 2 cops supervising the show had decided to walk back there and rounded all of us juvenile delinquents up. Since we out numbered the cops, we all decided to make a break for it, and like a herd of elephants, we all stormed out a back door and into the night.
Gradually, we started trickling back to the show. And guess what? Out of EVERYONE, guess who was the ONLY one who got recognized? Yup, me. (It doesn't help that I was the only one with hair that wasn't colored a natural shade...)
So yeah that's the story of my short lived criminal career. If I tried to get away with it, I had a 98% chance of getting caught.
I remember another time me and 2 others decided to runaway. After carefully calculating what we'd need to survive, we took off in a car jam packed with clothes, 5 bucks and a dream...
We made it to Arizona, stealing gas and food all the way there. Even though we starved through most of the trip, at least we looked fucking great since we had a good wardrobe to pick and choose from.
As for the guy I mentioned in that last entry:
Don't worry it wasn't an animal. It was a household appliance.
*sigh*
It sucked having to pick through the scraps of guys which my much prettier friends had shot down. Kinda like dumpster diving rhrough someone elses trash.

This and That

2005-08-06T01:29:00.000+02:00

I'll be flying solo on Monday after David leaves for a 2 week training exercise. He's bought extra minutes for his cell phone, his bags are ready to go and tomorrow I'll pick up 2 log rolls of Copenhagen for him. B.T.W: I REALLY hate it when he has me buy dip for him. I mean, it's not like I ask him to pick up tampons on his way home from work.. The way I see it, a girl buying dip is equivalent to a guy buying tampons-it's just embarrassing .. Being from Wyoming, I have seen girls who dip and it's just WRONG.
* * *
Anyways, while he's gone I'll enjoy my mini vacation from being a wife by enjoying activities like having the computer to myself after the kids go to sleep.. Playing endless rounds of Mahjong and Literati... And enjoying movies which don't feature violence, naked women and car chases-all of which are elements that must be met before David will rent it.
* * *
Now before anyone starts getting the idea that I like it when my husband's gone, it's definitely NOT like that at all. Yeah, I do enjoy an occasional SHORT TERM break from having to fold extra clothes and having to put more effort into making dinner, but I would never want him to be gone for a long block of time.
I LOVE being married, I really do.
After my past experiences with being single, some of which were so bad that I was turned into a shell of myself, rocking back and forth in a corner mumbling "never again..." and questioning my sexual orientation because of extreme hatred towards anyone who had a penis...
Well, I just never want to go back to that.
Plus, it helps out a lot that I lucked out with a pretty swell guy.
* * *
Here's some of my past misadventures as a single girl:
First off, in the past, I've ALWAYS been shy whenever I liked someone. So, if I saw someone I liked, I'd hightail it the other way as fast as possible.
To get over this shyness, I employed getting drunk as fuck around them in hopes of being able to say something to them.
Trying to impress a guy with your drinking skills is NOT a good method to use. Each time this method has been used, disastrous results have followed for me, such as, giving the impression that I have as much intelligence as a turnip and/or *HORRORS* going beyond my bodies capabilities to process anymore alcohol and throwing up all over them in mid conversation.
* * *
Then there's the cheesy guys you have to pick through.
I once met a guy who seemed to hold potential. He was a nice Southern boy and his drawl charmed the hell out of me.
BUT THEN, during the course of conversation, after taking note of his last name, I asked if he was of Irish decent. The next thing I know, this corn bread, grit fed hot Southern guy's all talking like he's Brave heart.
"Ah yeah, the MACK KAY clan hails from Ireland.." (His last name was McKay, but suddenly he started pronouncing it as MACK KAY)
And he didn't stop there, he just kept going on in that lame ass Irish accent.
* * *
Then there's those who you finally hook up with and you wish you hadn't, once you get a good look at them naked.
I remember bringing home one guy who I'd been casually dating for awhile.
Things seemed to be all good under the covers, but then morning came, along with the glaring light of reality...
I was both shocked and disgusted to discover "Mr. Hot" was actually Mr.Sasquatch. The way I saw it, if he couldn't take the time to remove his over abundance of back hair, then how could I expect him to take the time to put much into a relationship.
So Big Foot was politely shown the door and never allowed back in.
* * *
Then there's those experiences that you just can't classify at all...
I remember during the course of a phone conversation with a guy I'd met, I casually asked, "So, what's your most embarrassing moment?"
Guys, if you have EVER gotten so drunk at a party and tried to have sex with a non human object in front of everyone, DO NOT share this story...
This is what will happen.
There will be a LOOOONG uncomfortable silence, followed with "Well, I have to go now." and you will NEVER hear or see that girl ever again.
* * *
I also dated a guy who was schizophrenic and later discovered through friends that after his pet rat died, he boiled it and ate it. According to them, "He really loved that rat." I spent MONTHS wanting to puke every time I remembered his snaky tongue winding its way around my oral cavity, after I discovered the type of things that had been in his grill before I came around.
* * *
Unfortunately, there's A LOT more of these bad dating experiences forever trapped in the vaults of my memory bank...
But, on a good note, it makes me appreciate my husband. Especially, when he's being a jerk face.

Those wacky W's

2005-08-04T01:57:00.001+02:00

Mrs.W is married to David's co-worker Mr.W.
While Mr.W is cool as all get out, Mrs.W is a total fruit loop.
I really did try to like her, but I soon discovered that she's not satisfied if there's nothing to complain about. (Aren't those types fun to be around?) So... I unobtrusively guided her out of my life until she got the hint that I no longer wanted her to keep calling me to complain about non exsistant things.
Basically I told her, "No, I do not want to form any sort of friendship with you. Good day."
And that was that...
* * *
When Mr.W was deployed to Iraq, and they were both looking forward to it because the extra money would help get them out of the serious financial hole they're always complaining about... Mrs. W took it upon herself to surprise him by moving out of base housing (which is FREE by the way) and into a condo. She also decided without consulting him that it'd be loads of fun to have her adult sister fly to Germany and live with them. She also got a wild hair to sell all of their furniture. So the poor guy didn't even have a couch to sit on when he came back home... Mix in having a small toddler in the house and a baby who arrived in December, and you're gonna get one stressed out individual.

* * *
David recently ran into Mr.W, who apparently looked understandably worn out..And here's how the conversation went..
Mr.W: "Did you hear, my wife's having another kid?" (Yup, 7 months after baby number 2, baby number 3 is currently under construction...)
According to David, this question was followed with a sneer..
David didn't know what to say, so he just nodded and let him vent for a bit about how unexpected this all was.
* * *
Mr. W is now taking anger management classes. His wife and sister-in-law are enjoying their new home and enjoying the project of digging themselves into China. (Of course, neither of them have felt compelled to join the workforce)
* * *
Man, that would SUCK..
Thank you Mrs.W for making me look like wife of the year..

Being Sneaky

2005-07-31T19:45:00.000+02:00

In relationships, there's always something that one partner tries to get away with doing. (Perhaps even both partners, actually, more than likely it's BOTH partners)

It could be anything from spending more money than they should, or maybe it's that coworker who has formed a flirty relationship with you, even though your spouse would kill ya if they ever found out.

I'm also guilty of being sneaky... Several times a year I'll start sneaking around with this, even though every time I get caught, there's always hell to pay with the big D..

Wanna know what it is that is the source of so much friction?

I'll tell ya, it's nutrition.. Yup, about every few months, I'll get a wild hair to clear out all the junk food and replace it with healthier choices.. Unfortunately, I'm the only one that gets on the nutrition kick, and eventually I'll end up giving in to everyone's complaining and restock back up with crap.

But, then I got smart, I decided to start SNEAKING healthy foods into our diet. I first started with textured vegetable protein as a replacement for ground beef. For MONTHS everything was humming along just fine, and everyone ate just fine without any complaints.

But then one day, David decided to go poking around the freezer for reasons that still remain sketchy, and without thinking about my economy sized bag of textured vegetable protein sitting front and center in the freezer compartment, I didn't think to stop him.

Oh my god... You would've thought he found a bag of shrooms in there or something with the way he acted. Even though I informed him that he'd been eating the ass out of it for months, from that day on, everything that involved "ground beef" was gross until I finally threw out the bag and started using ground beef again...

And yeah, I'll admit maybe it WAS a bit much when I tried to deny that I'd done anything "healthy" to our spaghetti sauce. (while we crunched our way through the sauce.... Plus 1/2 a cup of freshly ground flax seed, 1/4 cup of wheat germ and a good healthy dollop of omega 3 oils....)

And yeah, maybe everyone's right, anyway you dice it, Tofu's just... gross... Nothing makes it taste good.

It's not easy being the only crusader in the family, on a quest to a better way of living.

But, someday I'll come out ahead... Oh yes...

As I told David: when we end up in a nursing home later, he better not to come crying to me when he has to put up with daily visits from the stern nurse with the gnarled hands and over sized knuckles to manually clear out his impacted bowels.

Then we'll see who wishes they'd jumped onto the nutrition express with me...

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

2005-07-26T21:57:00.000+02:00

Seriously... Especially when I'm taking a bath. Or, disturbingly, especially when I'm taking a bath.

Every night, when I'm finally on "MY TIME" and I'm trying to indulge in one of my most favorite activities of soaking in a tub full of deliciously, girly, scented water and a a good book, I'll begin to get that most disturbing feeling of being watched...

I'll try to block it out, but once that feeling creeps up, it's hard to ignore it.

So, I'll glance over the top of my book, and there lined up along the edged of the bathtub are a multitude of eyes staring blankly at me.

Let's see how relaxed you would be if you had the mummy twins, jabba the hut and action man sharing a tub with you.

Yup, the toys go all the way down...
For the most part I have become conditioned to this. Let's just say that something would feel off, if I DIDN'T have various toys raining down on me at some point during my bath. Every now and again, I'll sneak in there and thin out the tub toy stash. But, somehow they always manage to repopulate faster than a gaggle of rabbits.
Sometimes I'll feel really annoyed that I can't enjoy having a bath without being surrounded by every toy mass produced by McDonald's, and I'll get out of the tub planning on lecturing the kids about it.
But then something shiny catches my eye.
Something pretty.
Something that's MINE, and so high up the kids can't mess with it.

And suddenly, sharing a bathroom with my kids doesn't seem so bad anymore, because there's something in there that shows I'm a part of things too.

Timothy Tooth says "Always brush twice a day so you can be as white and shiney as me!"
He's my 2nd favorite bathroom knick knack.

Blogger Logger

2005-07-24T21:31:00.000+02:00

Haven't been on the computer a whole lot, so I haven't been as active of a "blogger logger" as I'd like to be.
My Art History class is offically OVER-THANK GOD... I have submitted my 10 page research paper, plus the 6 page essay she gave us a few days to write up. It was sheer madness.
So, now I'm just taking a Sci and Lab until Psych and Algebra start at the end of August.
Of course, things haven't completely settled down yet, I have midterms for Sci this week, so I won't be a very active "blogger logger" this week either.
Do you like that term I came up with? "Blogger Logger"... Um, ok...
David's out keeping the KMC safe. His schedule's been really weird. He'll be home around 10 tonight, which is in about an hour from now.
Anyways, since I won't be around a whole lot this week, here is a REALLY cool blog to check out. Basically, people mail this "Blogger Logger" a post card anonymously with their deepest, darkest secret, and every Sunday he updates what people have sent in. I've been finding myself looking forward to Sundays so I can see what the new additions are. Enjoy!
Post Secret
http://postsecret.blogspot.com

Bling Bling

2005-07-19T18:18:00.000+02:00

Here they are:

The ring with Diamonds and Rubies

The ring his mom sent me

The Best Birthday Ever

2005-07-19T14:40:00.000+02:00

1st off, David got up with the kids so I could sleep in.
He woke me up around 9 with a cup of coffee and my birthday gift.
He got me a ring with 5 rubies and 4 diamonds, it's gorgeous, and it fits perfect. I can't stop looking at my hand.
Besides my engagement ring (which is to die for) he's never gotten me jewelry before. I've never had a ring this beautiful, and I wasn't expecting him to get me this. (I was expecting a few DVD's or something like that.)
I love him so much, he's the best.
* * *
That's not all...
His mom sent me a ring that's been passed down through his family. It has a HUGE Alaskan Black diamond mounted on it. I admired it when she showed it to me, but never in a million trillion years ever considered that it'd someday be mine.
Someday I'll hand it down to someone else.
* * *
We spent all day at the pool and decided to order pizza because it just seemed too exhausting to go home and get dressed to go out to a restraunt.
This was the best Birthday I've ever had.
I'll post pics as soon as the battery on my camera gets recharged.

Flirty Thirty

2005-07-17T01:18:00.000+02:00

I'm writing this now, because the 18th is looking to be a busy day, and this will be the last chance I really have to write, for a few days.
Someone once told me that a woman changes completely every 7 years, and I believe it. So, in honor of turning 30 on Monday, here's a little trip down memory lane.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I celebrated my 20th birthday in Nijhmegan,Holland. I was providing medical support at the annual 100 mile road march.
After putting in a days work, I spent the evening getting sloshed at various clubs downtown with my friends.
As the night wore on, I met a British soldier, ditched my friends and went to a hash bar to drink coffee with him. We chatted, drank coffee and watched people get stoned.
By the time I met up with my friends and said goodbye to him, I had no idea what his name was, or what he even looked like. (He was wearing red,white and blue face paint in the shape of the British flag.)
But, it's all good, it's not like I had sex with him or anything.
I spent the remainder of the night blowing chunks in various bushes around the quaint town of Nijhmegan.
Today, 2005
My husband will have the day off from work, and we're planning on spending the morning at the pool, with the kids. Then we'll have a nice dinner later at a resteraunt. I MIGHT have a beer while we're at the pool, it'll depend on my mood. The best present I'll receive will be hearing my kids sing "Happy Birthday" in their cute little voices.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
My pre-20's/early 20's were spent in an alcohol fueled haze. I was quite the little lush back then. I prefered drinking alone, and usually had a nightly drink of one-two bottles of wine before bed.
Today, 2005
Before finding out I was pregnant the 1st time around, I was in a bar trying to drink a beer, and it really repulsed me so much, I couldn't finish it. A week later, I found out I was pregnant, and ever since then I've lost all desire to drink, except for on very rare occasions.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I didn't like kids nor understand why anyone would want to have them. I was definetly NOT the type of person who fawned over baby's or enjoyed playing with children.
Today, 2005
I love having kids, it's the best thing that ever happend to me.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I also had no desire to spend the rest of my life with any ONE person. (Little did I know, 6 months later I'd change my mind. Someone would come into my life, and after spending 2 yrs sucking me dry financially and emotionally, I'd eventually find myself making a faceplant into the curb he kicked me to.)
Today, 2005
I have no doubts that David and I will always be together.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
For the most part, I believed people were good and fairly honest.
Today, 2005
I think most people are shady and it takes a lot for me to trust anyone. I'm friendly but doubtful towards everyone I meet.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I had entirely too many "toxic" people in my life.. UGH...
Today, 2005
I'm very selective of who's in my life and I've pulled away from a lot of people. (Sadly, that included 99% of my family. My Dad's the only family member I still care about and have contact with.)

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
David was my best friend and I had no sexual attraction to him because of that. I also thought he was OLD (he would've been 29 then..) However, I enjoyed his company a lot and often when there were functions which required bringing a date, I always prefered bringing him instead of going with whoever I was dating.
Today, 2005
I think David's the hottest guy in the world. And I'm thrilled to discover that 30 is NOT old, and neither is 40, which he'll be soon.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I could eat a tub of lard and sit on my ass for years without gaining a single pound.
Today, 2005
I have a strong desire to kick the ass of those scrawny little things that can do that. I have to work my ass off (literally!)to maintain my weight.

Anyways, I'm thrilled to be turning 30 and you won't be hearing any boo hoo, birthday crises coming from this girl.

Duck and Cover

2005-07-10T12:28:00.000+02:00

To the lady who takes her mangy mutts out to poop behind our building and never picks up after them, I laughed my ass off at you this morning when I saw you scraping off the bottom of your shoe. Karma's a bitch huh? But I'm sure it didn't register in that bean brain of yours, that if you picked up your dogs crap, things like that wouldn't happen.
*
Kids, I'm so proud that you both toilet trained quickly and I'll never have to purchase diapers or pull ups ever again. But for crying out loud, how hard is it to get it into the bowl???? And if I ever catch either one of you peeing all over the seat because you didn't want to take the time to lift it up, I'll rip both your arms off. I'm getting fed up with having to bleach the bathroom everytime I go in there.
*
David, it's not cute when a female calls you, and you disappear into the bedroom to talk to her. And then when I inquire about who it was, thinking it might have been someone we both know, who I've been needing to talk to. I don't want to hear that lame ass reply about how all the women in the area know where to go when they want the good stuff.
Normally, I'd be more than happy to play along with this little ego game of yours, and find it humerous. But, when I'm so bloated out, that I can feel the top button on my jeans being pushed with so much incredible pressure from my gut, to which I'm concerned someone's going to lose an eye when it goes flying off like a champagne cork... It's not a good time to humour me with this.
*
Also David, when I've spent an hour deep cleaning both bathrooms, DO NOT come home from work and rinse off your grimy ass boots in the bathtub and then leave a trail of grit at the bottom of the tub. It's not very nice, and the next time you do this, you'll find me rescrubing it again, with your toothbrush...And if I'm feeling especially froggy, I just might decide the toilet needs a good cleaning again too.
*
To all the people who keep sending me stupid forwards and affirmations that I don't give a rats ass about. STOP IT!!! You guys know that I'm busy, I have kids, I'm going to school and I have a household to run. I don't understand why you have to continue torturing me with this crap, in retaliation for not emailing more often.
Just pull your head out of your ass and realize that Bill Gates is NOT going to send your $100.
I allready know how nice it is to have wives, moms,puppies, and coke-a-cola etc.. in the world.
No amount of Liberal propoganda is going to have me changing my political viewpoints.
And I'm not going to send donations to some dipshit who has a computer and is sending out mass emails claiming they have a son, daughter, dog, etc.. dieing of cancer, gonnorhea, or whatever.
So, if you don't hear from me via email more often, just be happy that you're on my Christmas card list, and you'll get to hear from me at least once a year.
Keep sending me spam, you'll be removed from the card list and placed on the shit list.
*
*Stomps off in search of the heating pad and Advil*

The DolDrums of Summer

2005-07-09T13:35:00.000+02:00

Summer vacation is almost to the half way point, and while it kicked off good as the kids enjoyed having unrestricted time to explore outside, building things out of legos and having unlimited access to the Playstation, things have started to become redundant.
Surprisingly, I didn't start to hear "I'm bored, there's nothing to do..." coming from behind a mountain of neglected toys, until after a few weeks of school being out had passed. If I was a gambling woman, I would have put my money on hearing that phrase shortly after the first 24 hours of Summer vacation had passed.
And I totally understand. There's only so many times you can flip over rocks to see what comes crawling out from beneath it and so many times you can conquer level 5 on your favorite Playstation game before it becomes boring.
So, today we ventured to the German Toys R Us with 40 euro burning a hole in my pocket, in search of something to do.
The kids made a beeline for a display set up of trains to play with and with them busy there and strict instructions not to go anywhere, I did a quick walk around the perimeter to see if anything caught my eye.
I found it, and brought it back to the kids to show them.
Kyle: "Yeah!"
Garrett: "No way Mom, that sucks."
"What did I tell you about saying "sucks"? You can only say that at home, NEVER out in public."
"Why?"
"I don't want people to think I'm a bad mom or something."
"O.K, but it still sucks.."
The kid's gonna be a bigger smart ass than his old lady.
Anyways, majority ruled and Kyle and I happily headed to the register with it, while Garrett dragged his feet and complained the whole way there.
To make Garrett feel better, I let both of them pick out a cheap toy by the register.
Anyways, we got it home, I set it up and moved some furniture away so they could play with it.

Meet Junior SwingBall
Reluctantly Garrett stepped up for the first swing, which sent the ball flying, right into Kyle face.
But, then the game got going, or tried to... Everytime they hit the ball, the whole contraption would tip over. At one point Garrett whacked it so hard the top part flew off and went flying across the living room just barely missing some of my breakables.
That was it.. "Ok, let's put it up."
"No mom, this is fun!"
"No Garrett, it's NOT fun. You were right, this toy sucks."
"Aw, but we just got it, I want to keep playing."
"Glad you like it Garrett." *seeth*

Freedom Fest

2005-07-06T00:42:00.000+02:00

Last night we hit "Freedom Fest" at Ramstein. But, first, we took the kids to the 6p.m. showing of Madagascar, then had dinner at McDonalds.
Once we got to the Fest, we lucked out on a really good parking spot, which is surprising since going there usually entails having to do a lot of walking from your car, to where the event is taking place.
We walked around the rides for a little bit, and let the kids jump on a few. Then we linked up with our friends the "T's".
The T's came VERY prepared. They had this neat cooler that plugs into their car lighter to stay cold, basically a portable refrigerater. Mrs. T had brewed up a HUGE thing of electric lemonade, plus they had Miller, Malt Coolers, juice boxes for the kids and cheese sticks.
The hard core drinkers at the fest were walking around with these HUGE plastic cup things, (like those whale bones Red Lobster has), some of them even had some sort of strap going from it to their neck..
David and Mr.T did a walk through together of the fair grounds while Mrs. T and I watched the kids and chit chatted over lemonade.
When they returned, D had Coronas for us, and they came in these very cool containers.

After finishing the beer, I filled it up with the remainder of my lemonade.
That was all I drank for the night. I don't drink very often, so I get drunk REALLY easily whenever I do.
I thought I was for the most part sober, however, after the fireworks finished, David and I decided to keep the cups, and it wasn't until we were on our way home that I realized I'd put mine into my purse while it was still halfway filled with that lemonade. UGH... It got on everything, mainly me.
Ah well, we all had a great time, and that's what counts.

Kitty in the Window

2005-07-01T12:19:00.000+02:00

Inspite of Dexter trying to sabatoge my latest quilting project, by eating the materials.. I have finished it. See the 4 kitty cats? I'm making another kitty quilt later, and the one that I like the best will be sent to my M.I.L. She'll love it since she loves cats and has 3 going on 4. I'm also making one for David's grandmother later. I still need to decide on a pattern for hers, but I have a few ideas. I'm lucky to have a husband who comes from such a great line of women.

At a Loss for Words (for once)

2005-06-29T09:41:00.000+02:00

As my Art History class draws to a close, my Science class is gaining speed as it grows more complex and turns my mind into mush as I try to memorize the complex formulas to figure out how Inverse-Square Law works and units of Joules, Newtons and Watts bang around in my cranium.
This morning I've been working on my 10 page essay about ONE work of art. This is no easy feat, since I can't think of any ONE thing I could write 10 pages worth of work about.
So, I keep finding myself using run on sentences and abusing adjectives like there's no tomorrow.
In the background I'm listening to Oprah, which I don't normally watch, but I don't want to leave the computer desk to change channels.
On this episode, she's bragging about her trip to Paris and has wheeled Valentino onto the show, so her and her friends like Halle B. can rave about how womanly they feel in his clothes, something that us regular women will never experience, but thanks to Oprah rubbing it into our faces, we are reminded of our lack of funds for being able to afford a several thousand dollar dress.
Her show just gets on my nerves. Especially the ones which features some rich bitch sitting in her mansion screaming "HELP ME OPRAH, this room is a disaster."
"OOH girl, I hear ya, let me send my team of designers over to provide much unneeded help your way."
Come on.. I'd be much more impressed if she featured a woman living in a shelter trying to get away from her abusive husband, who REALLY needed help.
Then there's the never ending line up of celebraties she's always marching across the stage.
I just don't understand why so many women worship her, all she does is use her show to brag about how many celebraties she knows and how much money she's able to spend.
Ok, it's time to turn off the t.v. and get back to finding more words to describe Picasso's 'Three Musicians' which is quickly going from being one of my most favorite works of art, to one of the most loathed. I NEVER want to look at this painting ever again once this essay is written.

Twiggy and Twiggy

2005-06-27T01:34:00.000+02:00

For those of you who have been living under a rock, Twiggy Rameriz is the former bass player for Marilyn Manson.

Anyways, he got a chance to meet up with the always darling other Twiggy.

Together, they recorded "I only want to be with you"
I stumbled upon it and downloaded it into my MP3 player, totally kicks ass. I've tried to figure out how to pipe the song onto my blog, but I don't have all night to sit here fiddling around with it.
Well worth looking for, and it's a THOUSAND times better than that Perfect Circle crap he got into.

Uncool at the Pool

2005-06-22T17:54:00.000+02:00

David left early Monday morning for the field. And would you believe it, after having mostly cooler than usual weather for June, the day he left it turned HOT. So, he's hating life right now, having to sleep in a scorching hot tent and all.

I feel kinda bad for having a good ole time over here with the kids.

Today we went to the pool. I brought one of my school books and got a lot of work done while the boys played in the kids pool. I thought I was lookin pretty cute wearing a little black cotton dress over my bikini and a fashionable straw cowboy hat until I got home....

I went into the bedroom to change and after pulling the dress off over my head, I looked into the mirror and discovered my new bikini top had these flimsy little boob pusher upper things tucked into each cup. I found this out because what do ya know, one of those boob pusher upper things had worked it's way out and was flapping around precariously by my arm pit. I'm such a dork, and no, I have no idea why I didn't notice it, and yes, I'd walked around the pool like that, since I took the dress off while we were there.

Into the Wilderness

2005-06-19T09:05:00.001+02:00

On Friday we decided to visit the small town of Fischbach. Which is about an hour away, and by taking the small town roads, instead of the autobahn, we enjoyed a very pretty drive.
Once again, we seriously considered having one of those limo privacy sceens installed between the front and back seats. The nonstop questions, chatter and having to stop small fires before they spread had David and I both ready to rip our hair out within the first 10 minutes of the trip. (My hair anyways, since David doesn't have any)
But once we got there and released the 2 wild beast, I mean boys from the backseat, it was all good.
We didn't have to worry about things on the homefront since we had these 2 holding down the fort.

Who needs guns when you have buns?
It's hard to describe the place we went to. Basically it's a museum, nature skywalk, playground and rooftop resteraunt all rolled into one.

Here we are on the skywalk/nature walk. Garrett did not like being so high up and kept a death grip on the guard rail the entire time.
Afterwards, we grabbed ice cream. Since my energy resources had been depleted, I had the coffee/ice cream with generous sprinkles of chocolate-YUMMY.

David's always more fun after you get a few beers in him.

We stopped to look at the moo cows. This picture was taken right after we warned the boys not to touch the fence. Being the city folk we are, we thought the fence might be electric. As you can see, Kyle decided to test that theory, and proved us wrong.

When it was time to leave, I asked the kids if they needed to use the bathroom. They both said no and refused to even TRY to use it, just to be sure.
So, we walked down this big ass hill to the car. And as soon as we'd gotten them both belted in, you guessed it.. "Mom, I need to use the bathroom." GRRRRRR....
So, we had to unbelt them and since David was A LOT more annoyed than I was, I walked them back up the big ass hill to the bathroom, while David seethed in the car.
Overall, it was a GREAT day.

Give them an inch they'll take a yard

2005-06-15T01:25:00.000+02:00

Last night I decided to start working on a new quilt, so I set up shop at the coffee table.
I could feel Dexters' ruby red eyes watching me, even though he tried to pretend he was interested in grooming himself.
After a few minutes of watching me laying out, comparing and slicing through the stacks of fabric, he decided to hop over and take a tentative sniff. His eyes closed slightly in bliss as he took in the crisp, clean scent of cloth. Then unable to resist, he gave it a quick lick, this didn't satisfy him, so after a moment he tried a nibble.
"Dexter no!" I gently scootched him away.
Then some force greater than the both of us over took him, and without warning, his sharp little teeth clamped onto a bit of cloth and he made a mad dash across the room with it.
It was hilarious seeing this little gray ball of fur streaking across the room with a chunk of pink, heart printed cloth in his mouth.
Once he got a little ways away, he stopped to collect his thoughts. I could see the little wheels in his bunny brain spinning as he tried to figure out his next manuever.
He ended up dashing beneath the futon, and once he was far enough back, to where I couldn't reach him, he set it down and stared me down, as if to say, "Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do about it?"
Reflecting back, I almost think I heared him growling at me, but I can't be too sure.
I did end up getting the cloth back, even though it resulted in one angry bunny who spent the remainder of the evening glaring at me from his "leave me alone" spot in the living room.
Silly bunny, fabric is for people!

Little Don Juan

2005-06-12T09:17:00.000+02:00

Awhile back, while doing laundry, I found a note in Garrett's pocket. It said, "Do you like me? Yes or No" I don't remember writing or receiving a note like that until around the 5th grade. So, I was surprised that not only are kids still writing these notes, but they're also getting such an early start, beings he's in the 1st grade.
Anyways, I thought it was cute, and it was put into his baby book, along with all the other milestone things I've collected since he was born.
At the beginning of the school year, his "girlfriend" was Shelby. Unfortunately, she broke his heart and moved away around Christmas time. But he seemed to enjoy being a young bachelor.
Then the name Eileen became mentioned more and more often. It seems he's quite smitten with her and she appears to be smitten with him. Sometimes he draws her little pictures, and they sit together at lunch time. It's also my understanding that at recess, she chases him around and tries to kiss him. I'm not too concerned, since they're only 6.
The only thing that has me raising an eyebrow is the reaction of others when they find out Eileen is his "girlfriend". With Shelby, everyone thought it was cute. But, with Eileen, I've heared this comment, "Oh, she's black.."
AND???? So????
I think it's great that they enjoy each others company and genuinely like each other for who they are. I've never heared Garrett comment on her appearance, but I have heared him mention often how nice she is, and how much he likes being around her.
I feel like I've done SOMETHING right with him, since he's able to pick and choose his friends based on who they are inside, and not what they look like.
I just can't believe it's 2005 and there are still so many people with primitive thought patterns.
Besides, they're 6 for Pete's Sake. And even if they were in they're 20's or something, who cares, as long as they're happy.

Books, Books, Books

2005-06-09T00:56:00.000+02:00

I found this floating around in cyberspace.

1) Total number of books owned:
About 100.
After reading a book, I only keep it if I REALLY love it. It'd be INSANE if I kept every book I ever read.
If I decide the book's not worthy of it's own space on my book shelf, I either give it to a friend, or let fate pass it to someone else through bookcrossing. (http://www.bookcrossing.com)
Most books, I have a REALLY hard time letting go of.

2) The last book I bought:
Last night I ordered these from Amazon.com.

Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
and
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

3) The last book I read:
She Flew the Coop by Micheal Lee West
a nice, enjoyable fluff book.

4) Five books that mean a lot to me:

1.) A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
OMG, what a powerful book! I absolutely LOVE this book.

2.) The Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club by Laurie Notaro
If I'm having a lousy day, nothing tackles it like this book will.

3.) Firm for Life by Anna and Cynthia Benson
This book has NEVER failed to keep me motivated about exercising on a regular basis. I read it whenever I'm in a slump. I like it because it's motivating without being cheesy.

4.) The "Ramona" books by Beverly Cleary
These books are what got me into reading in the 1st place. I use to read them over and over again when I was a kid. And Ramona became my alter ego as a kid. Since I liked her better than myself back then, I did EVERYTHING I could to try to be her. (Yeah, I was a weird kid)

5.) How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale by Jenna Jameson
Yes, the pornstar. After reading this, I felt a termendous amount of respect for her. My husband also read this. (The ONLY book I've ever seen him read in the 6 yrs we've been married) I think he just read it for the pictures though-LOL.

So there you have it.
Hopefully something interesting will happen soon!!!!!!

The Pass Around Test

2005-06-04T21:37:00.000+02:00

O.K, it's now my turn to cave in and do this test since all of my other friends have done it.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
6 a.m. on a SATURDAY-UGH

2. Diamonds or pearls?
DEFINETLY Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the movies?
Robots

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Fraiser

5. What did you have for breakfast?
Nothing, not a breakfast person

6. What is your middle name?
Lynn

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Indian/middle eastern

8. What foods do you dislike?
Anything undercooked, i.e. eggs, meat, etc..If it's runny, bleeding or mooing, take it away!!!

9. What is your favorite chip flavor?
Just plain old Fritos

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Can't really pick one,, have been listening to Kid Rock a lot lately though..

11. What type of car do you drive?
Currently a Pontiac

12. Favorite sandwich?
Rueben

13. What characteristic do you despise?
self centered people

14. Favorite item of clothing?
my pajamas- so comfy

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation?
Austrailia

16. What color is your bathroom?
White tiled, with blue and gold accents

17. Favorite brand of clothing?
Don't care, as long as it fits and is comfortable

18. Where would you retire to?
Texas someday

19. Favorite time of the day?
mid morning

21. Where were you born?
Tacoma, Washington

22. Favorite sport to watch?
Figure Skating

23. Who do you least expect to repost this?
who knows

24. Person you expect to repost it.
who knows

25. What fabric detergent do you use?
ALL- free and clear

26. Coke or Pepsi?
Vanilla Coke

27. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Night Owl

28. What is your shoe size?
6.5

29. Do you have any pets?
Right now, 2 bunnies.

30. Any new and exciting news you would like to share with family & friends?
David gave me herpes..
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

31. What did you want to be when you were little?
18 and living as far away from my family as possible, because "as soon as I'm 18, I'm SOOOO out of here"

Eating the Stinky Cheese

2005-06-02T09:38:00.000+02:00

On Saturday, we decided to take a break on our boycott of French products to take a trip into France and pay a visit to a market just past the border. (The French border is only about 1/2 an hour from where we live)
David stood in line at the seafood stand while I took the kids over to the cheese stand. After picking out a cheese that looked like it would tickle the palate, we found him standing amongst the produce holding a HUGE silver bag and wearing a dazed look on his face.
"Did you get the shrimp?"
"Um, yeah... I wasn't sure how much was in a kilo and to make sure we had enough I asked for 2 kilos of it."
He handed me the bag and I almost died when I read the price label on it. 74 EURO!!!! That's like a little over $100.
"Oh hell no! There's no way we're buying 74 Euro worth of shrimp when I can get it at the commissary for $5. Get rid of it!!!"
We wandered around the freezers for awhile, with him looking VERY suspicious. I finally snatched the bag from him and threw it in with some smoked salmon.
I also had a French man grab my ass.... It was weird.. I was standing with Garrett looking at the shelves of food, when I felt something squeeze my butt. I looked over and saw this guy with wild brown hair walking away wearing a scraggly t-shirt, cut off shorts and ugly ass bright red shoes.. THEN, after walking a little ways down the aisle, he turned around and started walking back towards us. This time I was ready. I glared at him, and turned to face him as he passed, so he couldn't access my ass. I must have scared him with my American girl brashness, because he looked frightened and started walking faster.
I found David selecting wine and after telling him someone grabbed my ass, he was ready to rip the guys head off and shove it up his ass. Luckily for that horny Frenchman, he had managed to blend in with the crowd and will live to eat more stinky cheese.
Speaking of which, oh my god, the cheese we bought was just HORRIBLE. It was like opening Pandoras box when we peeled the wrapper off. And the stench just seemed to linger... UGH...
BUT, we got a nice bottle of red wine, some really good blueberry jelly and some little finger foods...And of course, we brought back 2 loaves of french bread fresh from the bakery.

Caught in the Act

2005-05-28T01:23:00.000+02:00

Tonight after finishing a chapter in my book, I got up to grab some water. On my way to the kitchen, I passed David who was surfing the net. He tried to switch the screen to a new page, but it was too late. I'd all ready seen the site he was on.
"Damn it David, why do you have to keep going there?"
"Because I'm a grown man, and if I want to look at what's out there, I have every right to."
"You know how much it bothers me when you go to those sites. We have 2 small kids in the house, and you know I don't want them exposed to that crap."
He's addicted to these sites, and I don't like it, not one bit.
I'm talking about the gun sites. Where you can customize and order whatever weapon your hard little heart desires. He also likes checking out the message boards, where the rednecks like to gather and brag about the velocity on their weapons, and how many beer cans they can knock over without having to reload.
I'm all about the right to bear arms, but not for everyone, and ESPECIALLY not for David. This is a guy who will turn our vehicle into a moving weapon if someone pisses him off in traffic, while the kids and I helplessly hold on to the door handles hoping the car doesn't go airborn and we end up getting sliced in half by a guard rail.
I can't even take him to the store without having to worry about him getting pissed off and having to restrain him so he doesn't mow down another shopper with the shopping cart.
So, the last thing he needs is a weapons cache. I just want what's in his best interest. I know it'll just be a matter of time, once he has a gun, until he uses it and ends up in prison.
Anyways, I headed into the kitchen with the parting words of, "Well, don't expect me to bring you cartons of cigarettes for trade when I come to visit you in prison.."

Still Life, Strawberries, Sugar & Cream

2005-05-22T14:12:00.000+02:00

Today I played with my newest toy.. Water color crayons. You can color with it like a crayon and dip it in water to paint with. I'm buying 5 more boxes tomorrow.

School Rules!

2005-05-22T09:28:00.000+02:00

1st off, the midterm went well and I'm pretty sure I'll score high on it. YIPPIE!
And now, as my course begins a downhill decline, Garrett's school year is almost at an end.
I really can't wait to have the kids home all Summer, even though I'm really going to miss the free entertainment offered at the school.
I have a special spot I always park at after school. It's a great spot because he can get into the car without having to cross any streets, and best of all it gives me a good view of the school courtyard.
To them, it appears that I'm sitting in my car, doing a crossword as I wait for my kid. Unknownst to them, I'm actually quietly watching and observing their every movement from behind the dark tinted windows.
There are several groups of parents that rule the courtyard.
We have the "dog ladies" who walk to the school with their dog. Since dogs aren't allowed in the courtyard, they loiter directly in front of the gate leading to it. To get to the school, you have to go through them. One lady has a penchant for dressing her beagle up in ridiculous outfits. Around Christmas, her and the dog both wore matching Santa hats.
Then we have the day care workers who are there to pick up other peoples kids. They roll in wheeling these industrial sized strollers designed to seat multiple kids. Once in the courtyard, they gather together on "their bench" and sit around discussing the latest in the day care world as the toddlers run around freely, chasing each other with sticks and hurling rocks at unsuspecting people passing by.
The group of most interest is what I've come to call the Sperm and Egg gang. There's this unsuspecting father who shows up every day for his daughter, and a few of the bored, lonely housewives have taken notice of him. Everyday, I see him standing underneath a tree, and like sperm to an egg, these wives gravitate to him, each one trying to get his attention. You can totally tell too. At the beginning of the year, they'd show up wearing the stay at home mom uniform of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and after taking notice of him, they started showing up wearing makeup and tiny shirts with things like "Princess" written across the front in glitter. What cracks me up is that they all hate each other, and whoever's talking to him, receives dirty looks from the other women.
One woman tried to impress him by riding to school on one of those dorky razor scooters, so I'd see her circling all of them like an atom.
He doesn't seem to say a whole lot, and once his daughter shows up, he's out of there.
This Summer I'll miss watching the courtyard like it's an ant farm.

Artsy Fartsy

2005-05-16T22:05:00.000+02:00

On Wednesday I have a midterm exam for Art History class. For the exam, I have to discuss a series of influental artist and name specific works art that came about with the rise of the machine age.
I have no idea how I'm going to memorize the correct spellings for everyone and everything.
I love this course, but I REALLY wish these guys had names like, Tom Smith,,, Rob Jones,,, Brad Pitt.
It also would of been a bold statement,in the art world, if they'd all named their pieces with a nice single syllable name, ie, "Box", "Cone", "Nekkid"....
So, tonight, I'll be writing the hard to spell words out, 10 times each, just like we use to do in grade school.. Damn not being able to bring in notes!!!!

Tales From the Passion Party

2005-05-15T09:14:00.000+02:00

I went to my 1st Passion Party this weekend. Stephanie, the super cool single girl, asked me if I'd like to go, and since it got me off the hook for cooking dinner, I went.

When we got there, I got a chance to meet some of the other girls who live in the barracks. And they were a really nice, lively bunch. Out of a group of about 20, only 3 of us were married with kids.

The 1st "ice breaker" game involved having to give ourselves points for having had sex in a wide variety of settings. The single girls, totally raked in the points.. There were hoots, hollers and high 5's doled out amongst them as a trail of smoke wafted from their pencil and paper.

Then there were the married women, like myself, who sat there with a confused look on our faces, KNOWING that we might have once had sex on a major appliance at one time in our lives, but not quite sure of when, where or what it was.. I did figure out that I would have scored a lot more points if I'd played this when Bush's father was still in office and when the dark cloud of the Clinton era loomed over the American people.

Around the 3rd question, I decided it was pathetic it was for me to even TRY to play this game, so I just smiled politely and drew little stick people on my paper, so it'd look like I was still in the game.

I tried really hard to be happy for the girl who won, and stood up with her arms raised, doing a victory dance, which lifted her shirt up to reveal perfect washboard abs that hadn't been turned into a rippling pile of loose flesh from pregnancies past -BITCH!!

I did however win when we played "naughty Bingo". So, I got a cute little plastic heart filled with rose scented soap flakes.

The see and pass around session was interesting. I was especially interested in seeing the $159 vibrator. I mean, what would make a vibrator worth $159???? I was very disappointed to find nothing particularly special about it, and it was just like the $20 models. Just a quivering mound of plastic with a hefty price tag. For a $159 you'd think it'd have a car engine propelling it, and a DC connection. But nope, it was just your standard issue battery operated vibrator.

I spent A LOT less than the single girls did, who broke their credit cards ordering things which would have the motor burned out in a few days and creams that would be used up within a week.

After going through the order form and crossing out the things that would only amount to extra laundry duty and the potential for embarassment, if my children were to find it, I decided on getting a huge tub of strawberry scented nipple cream which was recommended as being an excellent lip balm.

I got a chance to sample some of it, and it made my lips feel really tingly and smooth. Good stuff. So, I got the family sized jar of it. Being genetically prone to chapped lips and passing this gene along to my kids, has made lip balm a precious comodity in this house.

Overall, it was a fun evening and it was refreshing to be around young girls, who were like I was 10 years ago, living carefee lives with their futures a blank, promising slate before them.

And as we spilled out into the night, them on their way to a club for a night of drinking and dancing, and me on my way home to bathe the kids and kick my feet up with a good book, it felt pretty good to know that my days of swimming in the singles cesspool were over. Yeah, my life isn't anywhere near as glamerous as the "Sex and the City" girls I'd hung out with tonight, but it was nice to know that I had someone I could count on waiting for me at home, and I won't be needing $100 worth of human sundae making equipment to keep him here.

You have GOT to be kidding me

2005-05-13T00:22:00.000+02:00

Sorry folks, I'm too lazy to find out how to set up links, but check this out, copy and paste it on your address bar.

http://www.gainesville.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050421/LOCAL/204210361/1078/news

Commentary

2005-05-13T00:13:00.000+02:00

1.) Don't you just love the "traumatized" look on the kids face? I think it's because he knows that when the kids at school find out, he's so getting his ass kicked. If I was him, I wouldn't even go back to school ever again.

2.) Um, how many 12 year old boys would come running to an adult to say that they were doing "nasty stuff" on t.v.? Shit, most 12 year old boys would have realized that they'd found a gold mine, turned it off before grandma came back, and stashed it away under their mattress for many nights of spanking pleasure.

3.) It's so obvious that this is just another one of the many scams people set up to try to cash in on our totally f*cked frivilous lawsuit system.

Don't Eat and Read This

2005-05-12T09:24:00.000+02:00

You have been warned...
A friend of mine is currently picking plaque away as she works her way through dental school, and even though her schedule is totally insane, we manage to touch base once in awhile.
One of her instructors shared a story,with the class, about an old lady who came in to be seen. Apparently this lady had been wearing her dentures for YEARS without taking them out. (I can only imagine the stench that wafted from her wrinkled lips as she cracked them open to be examined.)
Anyhow, his assistant had the "lovely" job of pulling the dentures off for the exam, and when she did, she found a bunch of little worms that had decided to set up camp underneath her dental work .
Ew!

For Bastya

2005-05-09T23:37:00.000+02:00

I saw this at www.petdiscounters and thought of you:

You should print it out and leave it where Tall Thing will find it when she returns.

Shiver Me Timbers

2005-05-07T22:02:00.000+02:00

Just got done downloading some songs off of Napster for my mp3 player.

I downloaded songs by The Wiggles.

My kids haven't willingly watched The Wiggles for over a year and 1/2. Sometimes, I still put one of the tapes in so I can watch that hottie Captain Feathersword shake his ass.

I was mad because Napster didn't have my favorite Wiggles song, Do the Wiggle Groove. hmmph..

Don't know what it is about this man, but I so have GOT to get David into a Capt. Feathersword costume.

Birthday Boy

2005-05-06T08:52:00.000+02:00

Kyle is now 4, that means he can now take a full Scooby Doo vitamin instead of 1/2 of one. He can also go on a few more rides at the amusement parks than he was able to last Summer.
His Birthday went well and he got to have 2 parties, one at Montessori with his school friends and one here at home with his family. The kid made out like a bandit with his presents.

Lots of presents were opened.

He loved the GI Joe cake I ordered for him.
The boys really dig GI Joe, and anything military in general. In a few years, you'll know which house is ours, it'll be the one with all the crater holes and explosions coming from the back yard.

After taking a break to eat cake, more presents were opened.
By now, Kyle was starting to get bored with opening his presents and crankiness was starting to take over his demeanor.

Happy 4th Birthday Kyle!
* * *
Sidenote:
Who ever advertised this toy as looking like this:

And then packaged it like this:

Deserves to be shot execution style.
This toy has so many freakin miniscule pieces, it's going to take weeks to put together. AND I know that once we finally get it together, the kids are eventually going to decide to take it apart, and then ask me to rebuild it again. It'll be a never ending cycle of HELL.

Window Porn

2005-05-03T16:46:00.000+02:00

5 days ago, I happened to glance out the kitchen window when I spotted them.
There they were for all the world to see, bumpin their uglies together, and they didn't give a damn who saw them.
For the past 5 days, each time I've looked out that window, there they are having sex.
Good grief! 5 days in a row!!!!
I've nicknamed them Max Hardcore and Jenna Jameson.

Isn't it weird when insects get stuck together by the ass?

In Which we have another Bun

2005-05-02T23:02:00.001+02:00

Bloggers, meet D.D's other half, Dexter.

This is his portfolio shot from when he tried out to be the next Cadbury Bunny.
Needless to say, he didn't get the spot, which came with a lifetime supply of free Cadbury Eggs. Instead a little bitch Florida White rabbit won the auditions. (It's believed that shady deals were made during the auditions, so none of the other rabbits had a chance.)
Of our 2 rabbits, he's the cuddliest and is always coming over for a nice scratch around the ears. He also likes it when I brush his hair, I like to make his mane fluff up into long, whispy peaks, just like a real lion.
Note the long hair around his head. He hails from a fairly new to the U.S. breed which originated here in Germany. He is a Siamese Lionhead Rabbit. There are a lot of different colorings these fluffy little guys come in, and his coloring is just like a Siamese cat's. It's hard to tell in these pictures since he's laying down, but his head, legs and tail are a much darker color than the rest of his fur.
His eyes are red, which gives him a demon bunny look, but inspite of his intimidating appearance, he's a real angel.
He is also a verrrry good house rabbit. Unlike his girlfriend, he has excellant impulse control and he very seldomly tries to chew up anything. Like D.D., he also litter trained REALLY fast.

Posin til Closin

This is his favorite hangout, he likes to go here when he wants to be left alone.

Here we have the happy couple.
99% of the time he can be found cuddling with D.D. They make a good pair, and as long as D.D. recognizes that he's the Alpha Bunny in charge, they get along just fine.

5,5,5,25

2005-05-02T00:29:00.000+02:00

On the 5th, Kyle will officially be 4 years old! It's weird because he was born on the 5th day of the 5th month at 5:25. Notice all the 5's? 5x5=25, weird... I have a sneaking suspicion that 5's his lucky number.

Almost 4 years ago, about an hour away from where we live, we were having a fun filled family day with Garrett, and partaking in some illegal offroading, when I unexpectedly went into labor.
I calmly told my husband that we needed to get back to K-town, but we had plenty of time until I'd give birth. (I said this so he wouldn't drive like a maniac-turns out I didn't have to worry about that.)
To this day, if we're arguing, I'll remind my husband how rotten it was that he dropped his uniforms off at Alterations to have patches sewn on, because they were going to be closed soon. (I warned him that if he did this, he'd spend the rest of his life being reminded of it... He should've heeded my warning)
Our neighbors watched Garrett for us, and laughed because I hadn't finished packing a hospital bag, so I was running around trying to grab last minute things.
At the hospital, the elevator was broken, so we had to climb a flight of stairs to get to Labor and Delivery. At that point, it was the last thing I wanted to do, and David almost had to carry me.
The people working at the check in counter were idiots and took forever to get us situated, David ended up demanding that they get me into a room and onto a bed. (I was doubled over by the counter and crawling by that point). Things picked up soon after that.
I didn't get any pain relief, because David kept talking me out of it, even though I was in the dreaded BACK LABOR... It makes a HUGE difference which way the baby's facing when you're pushing him out. But, in the long run, I'm really glad I had both of my kids without taking drugs. I think it made the birthing experience even more fullfilling for my spirit than I think it would have been if I'd had myself numbed up.
Within a few hours after we arrived, Kyle came into the world.
He cried A LOT during the early months. I cried A LOT during the early months. We made quite a duet.
For over a year, I was the only person he trusted. He didn't like ANYONE except for me, I couldn't leave the room without him.
I put him in Montessori school, part time, shortly after he turned one and he HATED it at first and had to be held back by the teacher so he wouldn't chase after me when I left. (My heart broke every time I had to drop him off)
Now he's a smart little guy with 3 years of Montessori school under his belt. He's still young enough to let me cuddle with him on occasion, but old enough to argue with me when he disagrees.
Hurray for turning 4!

BIG ASS Ugly Bug

2005-04-27T16:43:00.000+02:00

Imagine for a moment that the sun's shining and it looks like it's going to be a pretty nice day.
And with the anticipation of warm weather up ahead, you decide it's time to wash away all the winter dirt and get the balcony cleaned up for those warm Summer days spent sitting on a lawn chair, drinking ice tea and reading a good book.
And since your balcony does not have a water tap, you're having to carry out buckets of warm, soapy water from the kitchen.
But, that's ok.
Anyways, as you throw the first bucket of water down, you happen to notice something floating out from behind a flower pot, riding on a wave of bubbly water.
You can't help noticing this THING because it's so big, shiny and black and it looks like this....

EEK!!!
Upon meeting Mr.Scary Bug, who had become capsized and was now angrily clicking his spindly legs around trying to get back on his belly, I threw down the bucket and came screaming back into the house, slamming the balcony door behind me to keep the evil monster at bay.
David's look of concern was replaced with a look of disgust, which included much eye rolling when I told him that he needed to get out there and kill the big ass, ugly bug that I found.
"Ok honey, I'll go kill that "big" bug you found." *giggle,giggle*
"FUCK OFF, I'm not kidding, this thing's fucking huge."
"Yeah, ok." *rolls eyes*
After walking onto the balcony, he came back in within seconds of seeing it and slammed the door behind him. "Oh my GOD! That thing's fucking HUGE!!! Did you see the pinchers on that thing?"
"Told ya..." *smug look*
Well, he got rid of it all right. Being a man who believes in live and let live regardless of how ugly the beast may be, David decided the best course of action would be to quickly scoop it up with a shovel and fling it off of the balcony.
Once it was gone, I could laugh about it. Especially when I imagined the horror for a person who could have been walking by at that moment, to suddenly have this big ass beast suddenly land on their head. (but, that didn't happen-but it could've and it would've been hilarious)
Later we came to find out that it was a Rhino beetle, and it's a good thing we didn't kill it because it's some kind of protected species here in Germany and if you kill one, you can get a pretty hefty fine for it.
Through research, I found out that in some 3rd world villages, these are considered pretty fine pets and are walked on leashes.
Here's a picture of a pretty healthy specimen.

"Shudder"

In which we have a Bun

2005-04-22T07:33:00.000+02:00

Bloggers, meet D.D.

Cute isn't she?
Everything about her screams cute, from the little white diamond of fur on her nose to the little white tips of her paws, which look like she dipped them into milk. Unfortunately, a picture cannot capture the delicate movements she hops around with on her dainty little toes, but as you can see, this appears to be the picture of an angel...
HA!! If you ONLY knew. Here are 3 examples of her sweetness...

Weather stripping made a tasty treat one day.

Yummy carpet!

And nothing makes better roughage than wood that's been turned into furniture!
* * *
While we're still trying to harness her desire to chew everything that gets in her way, I have to say that her litter box skills are perfect, and that's the only bargaining chip I have left with David, and it's one that's carrying less and less weight.
It's actually not very difficult to prevent our things from being destroyed, you catch her in the act, spritz her with the water bottle and then she stops. When I've got her out, she NEVER chews on things because she knows I'll catch her.
But, she knows that when David's in charge, she just has to wait until he's locked onto the computer and the living room is all hers. Such a smart little thing!
Last night I came into the living room prepared to watch t.v. David was surfing the net and oblivious to his surroundings, so I guess that's why he didn't hear the crunching sounds coming from behind the t.v.
I heared it before my ass even landed on the couch...
Yup, there she was, hiding behind the t.v. stand with a guilty look on her face. And laying beside her was a partially chewed wire.
This snapped David back to reality and he leaped up out of the chair to chase her into the rabbit hutch and lock her up for the night.
During this little roundup he muttered in strange tounges something about giving her away to some guy who has a python...
She knew she was wrong too, and as she took off, you could see the white underside of her raised tail waving frantically like a warning flag, "Oh oh! Master's PISSED!!!"
Things got interesting after "Mr.Fix It" made his assessment and decided the wire would need to be wrapped up in electrical tape.
I made a gender observation.
If it was just me fixing it, I'd grab the electrical tape and that'd be it.
But, with a MAN it's gotta be more complicated. Out came the tool box, and a whole bevvie of gear. (I was tempted to ask him if he'd like me to grab the drill and electric saw for him, but he was allready pissed off and I didn't want to add any fuel to the fire.)
Anyways, after what looked like some complicated manuevering, the wire was nicely encased in electrical tape and all was good again.
Anyways, it's been decided that D.D. is no longer allowed out when it's just David around to "supervise".

Brushing with Power

2005-04-21T14:02:00.000+02:00

After dropping Garrett off at school and Kyle at Montessori, I went over to the dental clinic for my scheduled cleaning exam.
I am what dental hygenist refer to as a "Power Brusher". Which means I use more pressure than necessary to brush my teeth. Today's hygenist gave me a lasting impression of her, by tapping on a root exposed nerve with the sharp point of the pick and saying, "See, in this area, your gum line is really ground down, and it's just gonna get worse if you don't lighten up on your toothbrush."
I've been told this for years, but it hasn't really affected me until now. So, youngins, learn from my mistake and relax the grip on your toothbrush. Getting carpral tunnel syndrome is not necessary when brushing.
This concludes today's dental lesson, you may be excused.

Laundry Wars

2005-04-19T12:01:00.000+02:00

That's it! I have had it!!!!
It's hard to be mad at someone when you know that they had nothing but good intentions, but how many more bras must be destroyed in the sacrificial spin cycle? When will the madness end????
In marriage, it's good to divvy up responsibilities based on the best person for the job.
One of my responsibilities is laundry, and it's a job which I take very seriously. I even rotate these color coded magnets on the washer, so I know which type of load I'll be washing each night.
Even though I'm always on top of the laundry mountain, and no one has ever had to pick around the dirty clothes pile to find something to wear, every now and again, David will decide to lend a helping hand.
Or shall I say, an apoplectic hand?
I really appreciate that he wants to give me one less thing to do, but it just doesn't help if it means throwing in as much as possible, until the washers' lid needs to be jumped on, to close it. Then throwing it all into the dryer on high heat and calling it a day.
Through trial and error, I have mastered the basics of laundry.
* * *
Delicates are not to be thrown in with jeans, the zippers will slice through the spaghetti straps on a night gown faster than Jason in a slasher flick.

There are things which should never be placed in the dryer.

Some things require hand washing, and then laid out to air dry.

And for the love of God, NEVER put whites in with bright colors.
* * *
I unsuspectingly emerged from taking a bath last night, prepared to tackle the laundry, and found that David has decided to give it a jump start.
"Oh, I see you decided to start the wash."
His eyes narrow slightly, "I thought you'd appreciate the help, but from your voice tone, it sounds like you don't."
The washer pops open with little help as the jam packed mess inside fights to get free.
I take a deep breath, and begin unloading it into the dryer. However, something catches my eye.
It's my $50 bra. I have pampered this bra, lovingly hand washing it and carefully shaping the cups before drying. Now, it's tightly wound around the inside of the washer, in some freak bondage display.
I carefully release it and begin my examination. "Oh my God, I can't believe you put this in the washer!"
"So, what's the big deal?"
"Look at the cups, they're both inverted inside, I'll look like I have inverted nipples when I wear it. And the straps are frayed now."
"So, just wear it with a loose fitting shirt that covers up your shoulders."
"WHAT? Are you kidding me? I paid $50 for this, and you're just gonna pass it off as if it's nothing."
"WHAT?!? You paid $50 for a BRA!"
oh, oh, I don't like where this is going, it's time to back pedal away from the cost.
"You don't understand, you should never throw a good bra like this in the washer, they get shredded in the spin cycle. I always hand wash them, that's why we always have bras drying on the heater."
"$50 for a BRA!!!"
Time to back pedal in another direction.
"$50 is NOTHING when you consider how much you use to spend on the Jeep."
"No way, that's TOTALLY different. At least a Jeep gets you someplace."
"Well, let's look at it as being a lift kit for my tits."
Hurray! He laughed and had forgotten the money portion of this debate.
Anyhow, after some bargaining and compromise, I got the all clear to order 2 new $50 bras and a promise to leave the laundry alone.
We'll see how long it lasts. Now if only I could get him to help fold the clothes.

Dachau Concentration Camp

2005-04-18T13:46:00.000+02:00

Here are some pictures from the Concentration Camp. I have decided to just post these pictures without captions so they can speak for themselves.
-JueDee

Munich

2005-04-18T13:20:00.000+02:00

Here are some pictures from Munich.
First we roamed around the gardens at the Nymphenburg Palace. Heh,heh, Nymph...

Then we got a driving tour of the city before they turned us loose to explore on our own for a few hours.

After a quick walk through of a few places, we decided to have desserts at an outdoor cafe until the Hard Rock Cafe opened.
I tore into the chocolate cake which was smothered in vanilla liqour and chocolate sauce with black cherries floating around in it all.
By the time we fiinished eating, the Hard Rock Cafe had opened for lunch. I decided to just have a cappucino because the cake had filled me up.
Our waiter was cool and when asked about his perfect English, it was discovered that he was an American married to an oprah singer who performed in Munich.
Here's an interesting character I noticed while walking around: Note the feather duster in his hat.

I believe he's a Bavarian Pimp.

Vacation-All I Ever Wanted

2005-04-17T23:41:00.000+02:00

On Saturday I got together with 3 other girls for a trip to Munich and the Dachau Concentration Camp.
Stephanie was the token, super cool, single girl who works with all of our husbands. I just LOVE this girl. She's really great with my kids and keeps me entertained with her endless stream of stories.
The other 2 girls are mom's, like myself, and so they don't get to venture out alone very often either.
Somehow we managed to coordinate it with the guys, to watch the kids and let us venture out for the entire day. This part was a little dicey, since we weren't sure if they'd all go along with it. After discussing it amongst themselves, it was decided that it wouldn't be too bad since they could all get together, fire up the bar b que and let the kids destroy the playroom as they cracked opened a few brews and chowed down on chicken wings. (Thank God they didn't make my home the meet up place for their little Daddy Day Care!)
Anyways, the tour bus pulled away at 2 in the morning and we were on our way. I've decided to devote this entry to the bus ride, and I'll make a separate entry about being in Munich and going to Dachau.
I got to have the window seat going down there, and sat with Stephanie. The other 2 moms sat across the aisle from us. And since all of us had decided to stay up until the trip started, we immediately settled in for some sleep.
Or should I say, TRIED to settle in for some sleep.
Leaning against the window rattled my skull so much I thought my fillings were gonna come lose, so I improvised by curling up in various spine busting maneuvers. Eventually, I did sleep, not a whole lot, but it was better than nothing.
Around 7, the bus pulled into some German version of a truck stop and we all got out to have breakfast.
The 4 of us blazed a trail to the bathroom. While in the stall, my blurry, blood shot eyes noticed a silver holder mounted to the wall. And inside this holder there were some sort of pamphlet like things with just the tops sticking out.
Across the tops I noticed a drawing of a gun.
What the fuck? My interest was piqued, and so I pulled it out further and was even more surprised to discover that these "pamphlets" were actually "The Lady Bag" and in the fine print, visitors to the stall were instructed, in German, to dispose of their tampons and pads using "The Lady Bag".
Of course, I had to keep one of these, so I took one for a souvenir.
Observe:

After our potty break, we made our way to the breakfast buffet.
Unfortunately, Germans have different expectations for breakfast than Americans do. I was in the mood for some good greasy spoon food. Amongst the mountains of pastries and cold cuts, the closest I could find to satisfy my craving were what appeared to be slices of fried ham.
I spear-headed a slice with my fork and plopped it into the biggest bowl I could find. (The plates were further down the buffet line, and I was in no mood to walk the 3 feet it took to get over there.)
As I cut into this piece of "ham" I was surprised at how easily my fork penetrated it.
Wow! This must be some pretty good pork. I envisioned the swine it came from, spending their entire lifetime being massaged and fed the finest swine food. That's how tender it was.
I popped it into my mouth and was both shocked and disgusted to discover that this was not just any slice of fried pork.
I'm sure it had some pork in it, as well as a whole slew of other meats such as cow tails and rooster crowns.
But what it boiled down to was being worlds largest slice of bread shaped hot dog. Having kids, I KNOW a hot dog when I eat one. And that's what this was.
Anyways, I decided to pass on breakfast, and enjoyed a glass of orange and carrot juice.

Here is the offending hot dog loaf
We arrived in Munich around 8, and I'll write about that in my next entry since I decided to devote this one to the actual bus ride.
On the way back, Stephanie sat by the window and I leaned against her to sleep. After some silly banter and a good 15 minutes or so of repeating our favorite "Napoleon Dynamite" lines, we decided it was time to crash.
I promised not to drool on her jacket and she replied, in a totally serious voice, "If you do, I'll never wash this jacket ever again."
OMG!! I totally lost it and started cracking up, unfortunately, I also lost control of my sphincter and ended up busting ass REALLY LOUD.
We were both nearly in tears laughing about it. It's all good though, because it's bark was worse than it's bite. "The bark heared around the bus"
We also had to fill out a questionnaire about how we felt about the trip. In the suggestion box, Stephanie wrote down:
"I'd really like to go to a wild zoo so we could see the Ligers" next to this was a stick picture of a wild liger going "Grrrrr".
I leave you with this final image. I saw this resteraunt in Munich and it cracked me up.

Wok me like a hurricane!