Being Sneaky

In relationships, there's always something that one partner tries to get away with doing. (Perhaps even both partners, actually, more than likely it's BOTH partners)

It could be anything from spending more money than they should, or maybe it's that coworker who has formed a flirty relationship with you, even though your spouse would kill ya if they ever found out.

I'm also guilty of being sneaky... Several times a year I'll start sneaking around with this, even though every time I get caught, there's always hell to pay with the big D..

Wanna know what it is that is the source of so much friction?

I'll tell ya, it's nutrition.. Yup, about every few months, I'll get a wild hair to clear out all the junk food and replace it with healthier choices.. Unfortunately, I'm the only one that gets on the nutrition kick, and eventually I'll end up giving in to everyone's complaining and restock back up with crap.

But, then I got smart, I decided to start SNEAKING healthy foods into our diet. I first started with textured vegetable protein as a replacement for ground beef. For MONTHS everything was humming along just fine, and everyone ate just fine without any complaints.

But then one day, David decided to go poking around the freezer for reasons that still remain sketchy, and without thinking about my economy sized bag of textured vegetable protein sitting front and center in the freezer compartment, I didn't think to stop him.

Oh my god... You would've thought he found a bag of shrooms in there or something with the way he acted. Even though I informed him that he'd been eating the ass out of it for months, from that day on, everything that involved "ground beef" was gross until I finally threw out the bag and started using ground beef again...

And yeah, I'll admit maybe it WAS a bit much when I tried to deny that I'd done anything "healthy" to our spaghetti sauce. (while we crunched our way through the sauce.... Plus 1/2 a cup of freshly ground flax seed, 1/4 cup of wheat germ and a good healthy dollop of omega 3 oils....)

And yeah, maybe everyone's right, anyway you dice it, Tofu's just... gross... Nothing makes it taste good.

It's not easy being the only crusader in the family, on a quest to a better way of living.

But, someday I'll come out ahead... Oh yes...

As I told David: when we end up in a nursing home later, he better not to come crying to me when he has to put up with daily visits from the stern nurse with the gnarled hands and over sized knuckles to manually clear out his impacted bowels.

Then we'll see who wishes they'd jumped onto the nutrition express with me...

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Seriously... Especially when I'm taking a bath. Or, disturbingly, especially when I'm taking a bath.

Every night, when I'm finally on "MY TIME" and I'm trying to indulge in one of my most favorite activities of soaking in a tub full of deliciously, girly, scented water and a a good book, I'll begin to get that most disturbing feeling of being watched...

I'll try to block it out, but once that feeling creeps up, it's hard to ignore it.

So, I'll glance over the top of my book, and there lined up along the edged of the bathtub are a multitude of eyes staring blankly at me.


Let's see how relaxed you would be if you had the mummy twins, jabba the hut and action man sharing a tub with you.

Yup, the toys go all the way down...
For the most part I have become conditioned to this. Let's just say that something would feel off, if I DIDN'T have various toys raining down on me at some point during my bath. Every now and again, I'll sneak in there and thin out the tub toy stash. But, somehow they always manage to repopulate faster than a gaggle of rabbits.
Sometimes I'll feel really annoyed that I can't enjoy having a bath without being surrounded by every toy mass produced by McDonald's, and I'll get out of the tub planning on lecturing the kids about it.
But then something shiny catches my eye.
Something pretty.
Something that's MINE, and so high up the kids can't mess with it.

And suddenly, sharing a bathroom with my kids doesn't seem so bad anymore, because there's something in there that shows I'm a part of things too.

Timothy Tooth says "Always brush twice a day so you can be as white and shiney as me!"
He's my 2nd favorite bathroom knick knack.

Blogger Logger

Haven't been on the computer a whole lot, so I haven't been as active of a "blogger logger" as I'd like to be.
My Art History class is offically OVER-THANK GOD... I have submitted my 10 page research paper, plus the 6 page essay she gave us a few days to write up. It was sheer madness.
So, now I'm just taking a Sci and Lab until Psych and Algebra start at the end of August.
Of course, things haven't completely settled down yet, I have midterms for Sci this week, so I won't be a very active "blogger logger" this week either.
Do you like that term I came up with? "Blogger Logger"... Um, ok...
David's out keeping the KMC safe. His schedule's been really weird. He'll be home around 10 tonight, which is in about an hour from now.
Anyways, since I won't be around a whole lot this week, here is a REALLY cool blog to check out. Basically, people mail this "Blogger Logger" a post card anonymously with their deepest, darkest secret, and every Sunday he updates what people have sent in. I've been finding myself looking forward to Sundays so I can see what the new additions are. Enjoy!
Post Secret
http://postsecret.blogspot.com

Bling Bling

Here they are:

The ring with Diamonds and Rubies

The ring his mom sent me

The Best Birthday Ever

1st off, David got up with the kids so I could sleep in.
He woke me up around 9 with a cup of coffee and my birthday gift.
He got me a ring with 5 rubies and 4 diamonds, it's gorgeous, and it fits perfect. I can't stop looking at my hand.
Besides my engagement ring (which is to die for) he's never gotten me jewelry before. I've never had a ring this beautiful, and I wasn't expecting him to get me this. (I was expecting a few DVD's or something like that.)
I love him so much, he's the best.
* * *
That's not all...
His mom sent me a ring that's been passed down through his family. It has a HUGE Alaskan Black diamond mounted on it. I admired it when she showed it to me, but never in a million trillion years ever considered that it'd someday be mine.
Someday I'll hand it down to someone else.
* * *
We spent all day at the pool and decided to order pizza because it just seemed too exhausting to go home and get dressed to go out to a restraunt.
This was the best Birthday I've ever had.
I'll post pics as soon as the battery on my camera gets recharged.

Flirty Thirty

I'm writing this now, because the 18th is looking to be a busy day, and this will be the last chance I really have to write, for a few days.
Someone once told me that a woman changes completely every 7 years, and I believe it. So, in honor of turning 30 on Monday, here's a little trip down memory lane.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I celebrated my 20th birthday in Nijhmegan,Holland. I was providing medical support at the annual 100 mile road march.
After putting in a days work, I spent the evening getting sloshed at various clubs downtown with my friends.
As the night wore on, I met a British soldier, ditched my friends and went to a hash bar to drink coffee with him. We chatted, drank coffee and watched people get stoned.
By the time I met up with my friends and said goodbye to him, I had no idea what his name was, or what he even looked like. (He was wearing red,white and blue face paint in the shape of the British flag.)
But, it's all good, it's not like I had sex with him or anything.
I spent the remainder of the night blowing chunks in various bushes around the quaint town of Nijhmegan.
Today, 2005
My husband will have the day off from work, and we're planning on spending the morning at the pool, with the kids. Then we'll have a nice dinner later at a resteraunt. I MIGHT have a beer while we're at the pool, it'll depend on my mood. The best present I'll receive will be hearing my kids sing "Happy Birthday" in their cute little voices.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
My pre-20's/early 20's were spent in an alcohol fueled haze. I was quite the little lush back then. I prefered drinking alone, and usually had a nightly drink of one-two bottles of wine before bed.
Today, 2005
Before finding out I was pregnant the 1st time around, I was in a bar trying to drink a beer, and it really repulsed me so much, I couldn't finish it. A week later, I found out I was pregnant, and ever since then I've lost all desire to drink, except for on very rare occasions.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I didn't like kids nor understand why anyone would want to have them. I was definetly NOT the type of person who fawned over baby's or enjoyed playing with children.
Today, 2005
I love having kids, it's the best thing that ever happend to me.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I also had no desire to spend the rest of my life with any ONE person. (Little did I know, 6 months later I'd change my mind. Someone would come into my life, and after spending 2 yrs sucking me dry financially and emotionally, I'd eventually find myself making a faceplant into the curb he kicked me to.)
Today, 2005
I have no doubts that David and I will always be together.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
For the most part, I believed people were good and fairly honest.
Today, 2005
I think most people are shady and it takes a lot for me to trust anyone. I'm friendly but doubtful towards everyone I meet.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I had entirely too many "toxic" people in my life.. UGH...
Today, 2005
I'm very selective of who's in my life and I've pulled away from a lot of people. (Sadly, that included 99% of my family. My Dad's the only family member I still care about and have contact with.)

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
David was my best friend and I had no sexual attraction to him because of that. I also thought he was OLD (he would've been 29 then..) However, I enjoyed his company a lot and often when there were functions which required bringing a date, I always prefered bringing him instead of going with whoever I was dating.
Today, 2005
I think David's the hottest guy in the world. And I'm thrilled to discover that 30 is NOT old, and neither is 40, which he'll be soon.

10 Years Ago/July 18,1995
I could eat a tub of lard and sit on my ass for years without gaining a single pound.
Today, 2005
I have a strong desire to kick the ass of those scrawny little things that can do that. I have to work my ass off (literally!)to maintain my weight.

Anyways, I'm thrilled to be turning 30 and you won't be hearing any boo hoo, birthday crises coming from this girl.

Duck and Cover

To the lady who takes her mangy mutts out to poop behind our building and never picks up after them, I laughed my ass off at you this morning when I saw you scraping off the bottom of your shoe. Karma's a bitch huh? But I'm sure it didn't register in that bean brain of yours, that if you picked up your dogs crap, things like that wouldn't happen.
*
Kids, I'm so proud that you both toilet trained quickly and I'll never have to purchase diapers or pull ups ever again. But for crying out loud, how hard is it to get it into the bowl???? And if I ever catch either one of you peeing all over the seat because you didn't want to take the time to lift it up, I'll rip both your arms off. I'm getting fed up with having to bleach the bathroom everytime I go in there.
*
David, it's not cute when a female calls you, and you disappear into the bedroom to talk to her. And then when I inquire about who it was, thinking it might have been someone we both know, who I've been needing to talk to. I don't want to hear that lame ass reply about how all the women in the area know where to go when they want the good stuff.
Normally, I'd be more than happy to play along with this little ego game of yours, and find it humerous. But, when I'm so bloated out, that I can feel the top button on my jeans being pushed with so much incredible pressure from my gut, to which I'm concerned someone's going to lose an eye when it goes flying off like a champagne cork... It's not a good time to humour me with this.
*
Also David, when I've spent an hour deep cleaning both bathrooms, DO NOT come home from work and rinse off your grimy ass boots in the bathtub and then leave a trail of grit at the bottom of the tub. It's not very nice, and the next time you do this, you'll find me rescrubing it again, with your toothbrush...And if I'm feeling especially froggy, I just might decide the toilet needs a good cleaning again too.
*
To all the people who keep sending me stupid forwards and affirmations that I don't give a rats ass about. STOP IT!!! You guys know that I'm busy, I have kids, I'm going to school and I have a household to run. I don't understand why you have to continue torturing me with this crap, in retaliation for not emailing more often.
Just pull your head out of your ass and realize that Bill Gates is NOT going to send your $100.
I allready know how nice it is to have wives, moms,puppies, and coke-a-cola etc.. in the world.
No amount of Liberal propoganda is going to have me changing my political viewpoints.
And I'm not going to send donations to some dipshit who has a computer and is sending out mass emails claiming they have a son, daughter, dog, etc.. dieing of cancer, gonnorhea, or whatever.
So, if you don't hear from me via email more often, just be happy that you're on my Christmas card list, and you'll get to hear from me at least once a year.
Keep sending me spam, you'll be removed from the card list and placed on the shit list.
*
*Stomps off in search of the heating pad and Advil*

The DolDrums of Summer

Summer vacation is almost to the half way point, and while it kicked off good as the kids enjoyed having unrestricted time to explore outside, building things out of legos and having unlimited access to the Playstation, things have started to become redundant.
Surprisingly, I didn't start to hear "I'm bored, there's nothing to do..." coming from behind a mountain of neglected toys, until after a few weeks of school being out had passed. If I was a gambling woman, I would have put my money on hearing that phrase shortly after the first 24 hours of Summer vacation had passed.
And I totally understand. There's only so many times you can flip over rocks to see what comes crawling out from beneath it and so many times you can conquer level 5 on your favorite Playstation game before it becomes boring.
So, today we ventured to the German Toys R Us with 40 euro burning a hole in my pocket, in search of something to do.
The kids made a beeline for a display set up of trains to play with and with them busy there and strict instructions not to go anywhere, I did a quick walk around the perimeter to see if anything caught my eye.
I found it, and brought it back to the kids to show them.
Kyle: "Yeah!"
Garrett: "No way Mom, that sucks."
"What did I tell you about saying "sucks"? You can only say that at home, NEVER out in public."
"Why?"
"I don't want people to think I'm a bad mom or something."
"O.K, but it still sucks.."
The kid's gonna be a bigger smart ass than his old lady.
Anyways, majority ruled and Kyle and I happily headed to the register with it, while Garrett dragged his feet and complained the whole way there.
To make Garrett feel better, I let both of them pick out a cheap toy by the register.
Anyways, we got it home, I set it up and moved some furniture away so they could play with it.

Meet Junior SwingBall
Reluctantly Garrett stepped up for the first swing, which sent the ball flying, right into Kyle face.
But, then the game got going, or tried to... Everytime they hit the ball, the whole contraption would tip over. At one point Garrett whacked it so hard the top part flew off and went flying across the living room just barely missing some of my breakables.
That was it.. "Ok, let's put it up."
"No mom, this is fun!"
"No Garrett, it's NOT fun. You were right, this toy sucks."
"Aw, but we just got it, I want to keep playing."
"Glad you like it Garrett." *seeth*

Freedom Fest

Last night we hit "Freedom Fest" at Ramstein. But, first, we took the kids to the 6p.m. showing of Madagascar, then had dinner at McDonalds.
Once we got to the Fest, we lucked out on a really good parking spot, which is surprising since going there usually entails having to do a lot of walking from your car, to where the event is taking place.
We walked around the rides for a little bit, and let the kids jump on a few. Then we linked up with our friends the "T's".
The T's came VERY prepared. They had this neat cooler that plugs into their car lighter to stay cold, basically a portable refrigerater. Mrs. T had brewed up a HUGE thing of electric lemonade, plus they had Miller, Malt Coolers, juice boxes for the kids and cheese sticks.
The hard core drinkers at the fest were walking around with these HUGE plastic cup things, (like those whale bones Red Lobster has), some of them even had some sort of strap going from it to their neck..
David and Mr.T did a walk through together of the fair grounds while Mrs. T and I watched the kids and chit chatted over lemonade.
When they returned, D had Coronas for us, and they came in these very cool containers.

After finishing the beer, I filled it up with the remainder of my lemonade.
That was all I drank for the night. I don't drink very often, so I get drunk REALLY easily whenever I do.
I thought I was for the most part sober, however, after the fireworks finished, David and I decided to keep the cups, and it wasn't until we were on our way home that I realized I'd put mine into my purse while it was still halfway filled with that lemonade. UGH... It got on everything, mainly me.
Ah well, we all had a great time, and that's what counts.

Kitty in the Window

Inspite of Dexter trying to sabatoge my latest quilting project, by eating the materials.. I have finished it. See the 4 kitty cats? I'm making another kitty quilt later, and the one that I like the best will be sent to my M.I.L. She'll love it since she loves cats and has 3 going on 4. I'm also making one for David's grandmother later. I still need to decide on a pattern for hers, but I have a few ideas. I'm lucky to have a husband who comes from such a great line of women.